Don’t Miss the Next Post
Enter your email address below, and I’ll send you a message when I publish something new.
While you’re at it, lets also connect on social media.
I usually blog about life here, but I’ve had roughly a kabillion Saffas contact me to ask what they can expect when they move from South Africa to Canada. I’m inherently very lazy by nature, so I’m writing this post simply so I don’t have to keep answering the same question over and over again. Oh, and if you think you’re going to get any VALUABLE advice here, you clearly haven’t been following my blog. Whatever. Here we go: The […]
A while ago I quite stupidly promised that before I could complain about South Africa again, I had to post 10 blog entries devoted to things I love about this country. Related: I’m a giant nincomboob. Anyway, here’s post 6. Canada, as everyone knows, is awesome. We invented all the best stuff in the world, like the internet, steak, clothes, and Beyonce. OK, like, maybe we didn’t INVENT all that stuff, but we HAVE it in Canada. And, to America’s […]
In keeping with my promise to post 10 things I love about South Africa before I’m allowed to complain again, here’s number 5. One thing I’ve always wanted to do since I was a little kid was to keep my feet planted firmly on the ground, thus eliminating the possibility of plummeting to my untimely demise. For most of my life, I’ve managed to succeed in this endeavour, with the exception of a few (several) plane trips. But when my […]
I while ago I promised you my next ten posts would highlight only things I love about South Africa. Because I lie only when I tell my kids where babies come from and when my wife asks if I’ve been eating healthy, I’ve managed to pump out three so far. Here’s the 4th thing I love about South Africa: Pilanesberg National Park. When I think about South Africa, the first thing I think about is rampant corruption at almost every […]
I’m usually proud to be a Canadian. We ride polar bears to work, introduced the world to classy cuisine like poutine, eat cereal with maple syrup instead of milk (which you can buy in a bag, just the way God intended), drink reindeer flavoured slurpies, and play hockey, not soccer. Everything I just mentioned is totally true. Don’t look it up. But after living in South Africa for almost 22 months, I’ve discovered that we have one major shortcoming: the […]
A while ago I made a commitment that the next ten posts would focus only on the things I love about South Africa. In the meantime, I’ve had several entertaining experiences I could write about, but they wouldn’t fit my current theme, so they’ll have to wait (and there are a couple of doozies, trust me!). One of the things about South Africa that I still can’t get used to is their specific style of customer service. And by that […]
Hi, I’m Phil.
I’ve been many things. A university English instructor, a picker upper of dead bodies, a musician, and a sales guy. My work brought me and my family from Vancouver, Canada to Pretoria, South Africa in September 2016, and I’m still wondering how that happened.
I started this blog mostly because my friends back in Canada kept asking me how things were in South Africa, and posting about my experiences seemed more efficient than repeating myself hundreds of times.
Maple and Marula is a way for me to make sense of my new surroundings as an expat who has no idea what I’m doing.
Words of Praise for Maple & Marula
“Not a winner.”
-An upset South African guy.
“What a lot of codswallop.”
-Random South African Woman.