You might be reading this because you Googled something like “what does tick bite fever feel like,” or “how bad is tick bite fever,” or “how do I set my internet search history to automatically clear itself when I die.” I can help you with everything except that last one. I have a friend on standby for that. But before we go any further, tick bite fever IS actually that bad. I was just screwing with you in hopes you’d find your way to this page because you’re starting to come down with tick bite fever and were looking for reassurances that you aren’t in for a hecking bad time. Sorry, my friend. You are.
How do I know this? Because right now I hate my life and would gladly pay anybody everything I have in my wallet to come shoot me directly in the face. Why, you might ask? Well, because I currently have tick bite fever.
Since I’ve lived in South Africa, I’ve been charged by enraged elephants and hippos, narrowly escaped an angry mob throwing rocks and trying to set my vehicle on fire, and shared the roads with South African taxi drivers.
But it was a stupid, tiny bug that took me down.
Just over a week ago, I was out in thick KwaZulu-Natal bush with a few friends. And so, apparently, were billions and billions of devil beetles.
When I got home, I noticed a few dozen tiny little pimple-like bites had appeared all over my body. They were itchy, but that was the extent of it.
Until Friday, when I hit the point when all long-suffering wives realise their husbands are coming down with a very slight cold and will complain and moan about it endlessly for several days.
By Saturday morning, I knew I wasn’t going to have to fake it.
You know that feeling you get when your partner sends you a message that says “we need to talk,” and nothing else? Or the moment you realise you’ve accidentally hit “reply all” and told the entire group exactly how you feel about your mindless amoeba of a boss, including your boss? Now combine those and translate them to physical pain and fire it all over your body. That’s how I felt.
Luckily it was the weekend, so I didn’t have to miss any work. All I needed to do was rest and I’d come right.
Except by noon even my male brain pieced together that I should probably get looked over. Just in case.
So I dragged myself to the doctor, more to get validation that I wasn’t actually as good of an actor as it might have appeared than anything else. After looking me over briefly, she decided I had the flu or tick bite fever.
But as I turned, she grabbed my elbow and said “yep- there it is. Tick bite fever.” So that was that. I have tick bite fever.
How could she tell so easily? Apparently ticks leave small little bites. Except for when one has a significant amount of malice and decides to infect you with tick bite fever, in which case the bite swells up, the center turns black, and you end up hating your life.
And, well…
Anyway, in case you’re here because you actually have symptoms and you think you may have tick bite fever, here’s all you need to know (from someone who you should absolutely never ever take medical advice from):
- Tick bite fever sucks. Don’t get it.
- The best way to prevent it is to a) stay inside always, b) if you’re a nincomboob and decide to go outside, any outdoors store sells tick spray. If you’re not a complete moron, you’ll go buy some and use it.
- If you DO get tick bite fever, symptoms usually appear 4-10 days after the bite (for me it was 6).
- You’ll start feeling tired and a bit achy. If you’ve hit that point…hahahaha- you’re screwed.
- Check all your bites- you’ll probably have more than one. If one of them looks like the photo above, chances are you’ve definitely got tick bite fever.
- Go to the doctor while you still have the energy to drag your sorry ass out of the house, because soon, you won’t. You’ll get a prescription for doxycycline.
- Then go home and wait. You’re done for 1-2 weeks.
- Here’s what you’ve got coming: a general state of exhaustion, an acute ache in every part of your body, headaches, and while this doesn’t seem to be listed everywhere, the absolute inability to warm up.
- The good news is, unlike tick bites in other parts of the world, these ones don’t give you Lyme disease, and there will be no lasting effects.
- While you’ll certainly WANT to die, tick bite fever in South Africa has never killed a single person.
- Milk all the sympathy you can get. For probably the first time in your life, you really deserve it.
So thanks, South Africa, for gifting me with another experience I’ll remember forever. At least I can be super productive and re-watch a bunch of movies I’ve seen a million times.
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Ow, you poor soul. Get well soon. When and if I ever arrive in Canada, I’ll take your advice re tick spray immediately.
I was always super careful about ticks in Canada- not sure why I let my guard down here!
I had tick-bite fever as a teenager. I will never forget that headache and the hallucinations. Given my age now, you have to realise that if I can still recall the pain and suffering…it was bad. Worse than bad.
But at least it isn’t Lyme disease.
It’s kind of like brain-freeze or stepping on a Lego brick- you know the pain will be gone soon, but you also feel that you’re about to die!
Dude, THAT sucks!
I’m sorry you have to go through this.
I hope you’re all caught up with your movies and shows. There should only be one Nicholas Cage or Steven Segal that you should be subjected to. But sometimes I find that it’s only when you’re sick do they seem to be the only movies available. Why? 😀 Good luck!
Anyways, I hope for a speedy recovery for ya!
Great to hear from you Ray! I hope everything’s awesome back on the best coast!
It’s not so bad, I guess. It gave me something to write about, and that’s always a win…
And you thought penguins were bad! Love the humour in your post, but hope you feel better soon! Dying sucks.
Haha! Man did I ever get a lot of mileage out of the whole penguin thing…
And agreed! But fortunately, tick bite fever hasn’t killed anybody in South Africa yet. I’d have to be extraordinarily unlucky to be the first!
Gee, that’s not good. I remember a daughter being bitten in White River whilst at boarding school. She was duly sent home (to Swaziland where we were working at the time) and didn’t have much reaction at all – just a week”s glorious holiday. She still has the scar. Now we’re in Calgary and I hear awful stories of Lyme disease. Terrified when I do a hiking trail near home where the grass is so long after good rains. I’m crossing fingers that Canadian ticks hate South Africans.
Get well soon. Love the missives from home!
You definitely have to be very aware of ticks in Canada! Lyme disease is much worse than what I have. Just make sure you use tick spray, wear long sleeves/pants and a hat, and check each other over for ticks after you get back inside. And if you find one, don’t pull it out! Use a special tick remover or go to a doctor.
On the other hand, what self-respecting tick would choose to live in Calgary? I was going to say “in Alberta” but remembered Canmore, up the drag, and it didn’t seem fair!
In the words of every South African: Shame man.
Ha! That about sums it up. It really gives me time to catch up on self pity though…
LOL, best answer!
Hi there. Sorry you’re so sick. My mother loved to tell me I had tick bite fever when I was 2 but luckily I don’t remember it.
Phil, I had that just about a month into our stay in South Africa. We’d been in the Waterberg, lots and lots of rain (which they told us would never happen in April), and I thought I would die about a week later. This was how we quickly found out how the hospital system works in South Africa, which was about the only positive outcome of it. I still remember that feeling. Never felt so listless in my life. Good news is, the antibiotics work beautifully. And gave me a good blog post topic:-)
Agreed! The health care here is amazing. Sadly, it’s only that good for the small minority that can afford it. But that’s a bummer of a topic…
I haven’t read yours! I’ll be digging back in the archives…
Late to the replies, but yup I’ve had tick bite fever in 2014. The symptoms started at an Eminem concert and I thought that’s weird I’ve only 2 beers.
The next day I was like maybe I’m exhausted from dealing with the concert, but it got worse and worse.
Monday my wife drove me to the doctor who misdiagnosed it so gave me the wrong meds.
Rushed back to the dr with extreme light sensitivity and massive headache. Eventually found the tick bite on the back of my head. Got the right meds and yeah it was 2 weeks I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
The headaches, the pains that went through, I couldn’t sleep properly cause of the weird hallucinations, the hot flushes and the general lack of appetite didn’t help either. 6 years later and it’s still fresh in my memory.