Why You Should Become an Expat (And Why You Shouldn’t), Part 1

We (me, my wife and 2 young kids) moved from Vancouver, Canada to Pretoria, South Africa in September 2016. A lot of people have asked the same question: “Why?” Several people who are considering making a similar move away from their home country have contacted me and asked what it’s like to leave behind everything and everyone you know. To be honest- it’s awesome. And awful. Here are a few reasons you should become an expat. And a few reasons you shouldn’t.

1) Show Me The Money!

I wake up every morning, take off my underwear made of solid gold and toss it in the garbage. Cause who wears that stuff twice? Gross. I then put on on my bathing suit made of orangutan faces (I keep several of them on hand for this exact purpose in one of our many spare rooms, because I have a LOT of money) and tiger skin (sorry environmentalists. I bought them all. Let’s be honest, they were going to end up ground into Chinese medicine anyway- I just expedited their extinction) and soak in my hot tub filled entirely with orphan tears. I bought all the orphans, too. Eat it, Madonna.

And the ocean. We also bought the ocean.

At least, that seems to be what a lot of people think expat life is going to be like. And it’s exactly like none of that.

Look, your quality of life probably will go up. The cost of living will likely be less than your home country, and you should be getting a little more money than you used to (at least, if you moved away from a country that’s more “comfortable” than the one in which you’ll be living). But the days of lucrative expat packages with first-class plane tickets home (you’ll probably fly coach, like our ancestors, the dinosaurs), golf club memberships, and piles and piles of cash have pretty much disappeared.

So, No?

You’ll be able to save some money, sure. But unless you have a very, very unique skill set, like the ability to shoot raisins out of your nipples or something awesome like that, you’ll be making moderately more than you did at home. You’ll be comfortable. Not “I have enough money to buy a giraffe and ride it down the street whilst wearing a Viking helmet and swinging a bag of gophers at passers-by” rich.

You WILL be making yourself more valuable to your company, though. And that MAY translate into a fat raise when you get home. Or it may just mean they’ll move your office from the men’s washroom in the McDonald’s next door to a closet in the basement. Movin’ on up!

2) It’s Great For the Kids!

My kids are now 7 and almost 4. They were born in Canada, so in other words, all they ever knew was swimming pools filled with maple syrup, universal health care, and moose, cause moose get into everything, like rats. Having them see another country is good for them. We do live in a little bit of a bubble in our area, but they also do get exposed to extreme poverty, and we’ve had to talk to them about crime and “bad people.” They’re getting life experience, which you can’t buy for any amount of money. I’m hoping it will shape them into well-rounded, thankful people. I’m actually kinda betting on that, because I’m truly a terrible parent, and I’m going to rely on this experience – and not my own example – to make them not suck as adults.

On top of that, they get to spend a ton of time outside, meeting new friends, and having experiences other kids don’t normally get. They’re having the time of their lives, and if your kids aren’t jealous of my kids, they should be.  The Potato and The Kraken have seen all kinds of wild animals like elephants, giraffes, hippos, etc (all they had to look at back home were the junkies on Hastings Street, which is a whole other kind of wild), and they get to truly live life to the fullest.

They also get a lot of crap from local kids and will probably be put back a year in school at some point.

So, No?

The North American (and maybe other places too- I’m too lazy to Google it) school year runs from September to June. The Potato finished kindergarten back home in June 2016. We arrived in South Africa just in time for grade 1. But the seasons are reversed here, so we had two options: let him have an extended break until January 2017, or put him back in Kindergarten (grade naught here) for the last few months. We chose to put him back into school so he would at least get back into a routine.

It turns out some of the things he learned in kindergarten back home aren’t taught until grade 1 here, and some of the things that aren’t taught until grade 1 in Canada are taught in grade naught in South Africa. The teacher had us convinced the Potato had some pretty serious learning disabilities until we figured out what was going on. He’s caught up now, but there are some other issues.

Because he started school part way through the year, it was hard for him to break into social groups that had already been going strong for several months. And these kids had all been playing tennis (which is mandatory at his school) for at least 9 months (some had been playing for a couple of years already), and the Potato had never held a tennis racquet in his life. The kids mocked him mercilessly because kids are tiny little psychopaths, and it was heartbreaking to hear him tell us about it. He’s still behind in that regard, but at least he sometimes connects with the ball now, and he once even hit it over the net, so I’m pretty much counting on him to go pro in a few years so I can retire early and become a full-time Transformers cosplayer, which has been a dream of mine ever since I started writing this sentence.

At least the Kraken was stoked for her first day of school.

I know he’s a kid, and kids are tough. Tougher than us parents. So he’s taking it like a champ. But because of the season reversal, he’ll be behind again when we move back to Canada. Which means he’ll probably end up a grade behind other kids his age. But we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. There are international schools that cater to expats, and they follow the same schedule as your home country. But that can be problematic as well. They typically cost about 5-10 times more than an average private school. If your company will pick up the tab, great! But a lot won’t. Also, they follow the public holidays from the country of origin, not the local public holidays. Which means your kids will have days off that you won’t, and vice versa. If you don’t like your kids, don’t want to spend time with them on your days off, and either you or your company has oodles of cash to blow, international schools are a fantastic option.

All that aside though, if you love your kids and want them to turn out better than all your friends’ kids, being an expat is dope.

Or, if you don’t love your kids, you can force them to hold baby murder logs.

3) You Get a Change of Scenery

Sometimes life becomes a rut. You work with the same crappy people every day, every week, every year. And you do the same things in your boring, podunk city every dang weekend. It feels like you’re trapped in a real-life version of Groundhog Day, except you don’t even get to hang out with Bill Murray. Just crappy old Bill in accounting, who is a total knob.

Maybe you hate your family. Mine’s all right, with the exception of one utter and complete dud, so that wasn’t my motivation. But it might be yours.

In any case, this is your chance to escape. Hop on a plane and leave it all behind! You’ll make new friends and have new colleagues. Everything will be new and fresh, and you’ll basically live in a world full of rainbows and unicorn farts. It’s exciting going to live in new places. You see things through a whole different lens than when you’re simply on vacation. It’s impossible to get bored, and it can definitely give your career and outlook on life a positive boost.

But if you’re simply trying to escape, you’re going to be in for a world of hurt.

So, No?

Change is good. But if your main motivation to become an expat is your office/life at home sucks, you’re an idiot and you need to sort yourself out before you go anywhere. People suck all over the world. If you work with talentless bufoons back home, they’re probably going to be even worse wherever you’re going. Otherwise, your company wouldn’t be spending all that money to get you there. Your view will change, but you’ll still have problems. In fact, you’ll probably have MORE problems to deal with, so you’d better be in the right frame of mind to tackle them. I’m not saying you have to be a mindlessly naive, but if you want a change of scenery because you truly believe there’s nothing beautiful back home, you won’t find the view from your new home that good either. Just ask the hundreds of thousands of South Africans who bailed, only to return home once they realised life at home wasn’t so bad after all.

My point here is yes, a change of scenery is awesome. But make sure your attitude allows you to appreciate the change.

If this is all you see back home, this is all you’re gonna see in your new home, too.

As I have a habit of doing, I prattled on for much longer than I wanted. I’ll make a second post next week about the same thing, because let’s face it, only like 12% of the people reading this post even made it this far.

*Update- Why You Should Become an Expat (And Why You Shouldn’t)- Part 2 is now up here.

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About the Author

I’ve been many things. A university English instructor, a picker upper of dead bodies, a musician, and a sales guy. My work brought me and my family from Vancouver, Canada to Pretoria, South Africa in September 2016, and I’m still wondering how that happened. I started this blog mostly because my friends back in Canada kept asking me how things were in South Africa, and posting about my experiences seemed more efficient than repeating myself hundreds of times. Maple and Marula is a way for me to make sense of my new surroundings as an expat who has no idea what I’m doing.

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5 Comments

  1. Love your blog. Absolutely crazy … Never in a life time would have thought that a Canadian would have the “guts” to move to SA. (except if you did not know anything about the current situation in SA?).
    I assist South Africans to emigrate to Canada. And your blogs make me smile. The comparisons are soo true. Cause that’s what we do, we compare “back home” to our new home.
    South Africans leave, have left or want to leave, and you moved to SA.
    I wish you and your family all the best. Be safe and return safely to Canada.

    1. Thanks for the comment, Martie. We did a lot of research before we came, and we visited too so we could make our final decision. We are a bit lucky in that we’re able to live in a security estate. I do know that not everyone here is able to do that, and I also know what even that isn’t 100% protection! But with a bit of caution and awareness, we’ve done fine.

      I know a lot of South Africans who want to move to Canada, but I also know a lot who want to stay. The next few years will be crucial in shaping what comes next here I think.

      In the meantime, I hope you’re enjoying the beautiful summer back home!

    1. Thanks so much Diane! I love your site, and I’ve added it to my recommended sites page. I’ll definitely be spending some more time there!

  2. Great post! There are many hard truth here that many people need to read before making any rash decisions. I know a couple of persons that just leave just because their jobs suck, as you said. It did not turn out so great a the end.

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