Last year, I wrote a post called 24 Weird Things About South Africa. It exploded, with the original post going viral, and then subsequent reposts of it on other pages also going viral. There were, of course, several people who got really defensive and said the post, me, and everything I’ve ever done in my life are all complete and total rubbish (as if I didn’t already KNOW that!). But the vast majority of South Africans love to laugh at […]
Differences
24 Weird Things About South Africa
I’ve lived in South Africa for three years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that while I love it here, I’ll never fully understand this place. Without further ado, here are 24 weird things about South Africa. 1. Bunny chows. There are no bunnies involved. Like, at all. 2. The ubiquitous “car guards.” You’re expected to pay them a tip for their uncanny ability to stand DIRECTLY in your blind spot, waving you right into the car […]
What To Expect When You Move From South Africa To Canada
I usually blog about life here, but I’ve had roughly a kabillion Saffas contact me to ask what they can expect when they move from South Africa to Canada. I’m inherently very lazy by nature, so I’m writing this post simply so I don’t have to keep answering the same question over and over again. Oh, and if you think you’re going to get any VALUABLE advice here, you clearly haven’t been following my blog. Whatever. Here we go: The […]
If You Don’t Know How To Use A Public Bathroom, This Post Is For You!
Look, South Africa, we need to talk. You’re home to some of the best wildlife, okay-est food, most wonderful people, and most hilarious fashion choices. I love all of it. But as evidenced by the fact I recently wrote about being on peed on in a public washroom, your bathroom etiquette might need a little tweaking. And if you don’t believe me, just check out this sign I recently saw in a public loo: There’s just so much going on there. […]
You Wanted A Urinal Story- You Got It!
OK, let’s be honest, nobody has ever asked for a urinal story. That’s just insane. The title is mostly to warn people what’s coming so they don’t click the link. But YOU clicked, you giant weirdo, so let’s do this. I’ve been knocked out with the flu for the last several days, so I’ve been slacking off on pretty much everything but binge watching American Vandal (which is truly, truly hilarious) and hurling my guts into the toilet over and […]
8 Ways Expat Life Sucks Worse Than Puppy Cancer
Exactly one year ago today, we were waiting in the Vancouver airport for our flight to South Africa. Everything we owned was already stuffed into a container and floating across the ocean to meet us at a later date. We were exhausted, excited, and nervous. We had said all our goodbyes to friends and family and were about to embark on our new journey. Expat struggles were something we didn’t even think about. Fast forward one year later, and we pretty […]
Canada vs South Africa (In a Handy 11-Point list)
I’m sorry if the title brought you here in hopes I’d be talking about who would win in a fist fight between Canada and South Africa. That would be ridiculous because there couldn’t be any possible way of knowing (but for the record, it would totally be Canada. We’re able to harness the power of poutine). When I say Canada vs South Africa, what I MEAN to say is I’m going to look at the differences I’ve noticed between the two […]
The World’s Most Grueling Competition
I’m not necessarily saying I’m competitive or anything, but I like to win. If you beat me at Monopoly, I’ll train bees to attack you. I like boxing with my 7-year-old son because I can beat him at LEAST 78% of the time. He’s a pansy (at least for now). I always finished exams first when I was in school, whether I knew the answers or not. Being first was more important than performing well. Same with sex. I ALWAYS […]
Why You Should Become an Expat (And Why You Shouldn’t), Part 2
Last week, I started to explain why you should (or shouldn’t) consider taking an expat contract. But, like always, I broke the rules of blogging by not keeping it short and sweet, so I only got through three points. Here are some more thoughts to consider before becoming an expat: 4) You Can Totally Show How Valuable You Are To Your Company Your bosses wouldn’t have asked you to relocate if they didn’t think you had great value- or potential value- […]
The Person Who Does That…
I’m going to throw a quite common scenario at you. You’re at your office in North America, and you’re about to go on your yearly vacation to see all the severed whale wieners you can imagine. You set your “out of office” notification on your email, informing anybody who may try to contact you that you’ll be away, but there’s an alternate person who can help them out. Same with your voicemail. Now, your customers can still get what they […]