I’ve lived in South Africa for three years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that while I love it here, I’ll never fully understand this place. Without further ado, here are 24 weird things about South Africa.
1. Bunny chows. There are no bunnies involved. Like, at all.
2. The ubiquitous “car guards.” You’re expected to pay them a tip for their uncanny ability to stand DIRECTLY in your blind spot, waving you right into the car behind you as you back out. Legend has it that they also prevent people from breaking into your car, but as far as I know, that’s about as likely as finding a fish eagle up your backside. Still, they’ll always give you a giant smile, and that alone is worth the price of admission.
3. South Africans invented the heart transplant and the electric car, yet they can’t come up with a way to wrap Fizzers in such a way that ALL the paper comes off before you eat it. Hands up, all you Saffas who have given up and just chowed the last little bit of paper along with the candy.
4. The widespread belief that you absolutely will catch your death of a cold from an air conditioner. Science be darned.
5. The vuvuzela. The world needed to know what the most ungodly sound imaginable was. Now they know.
6. Robots are called robots. Also, traffic lights are called robots, and there’s no good explanation for it.
7. In most countries, you get to vote for one of a few political parties in the national election. In South Africa, there were 48 parties on the last ballot sheet (2019). Because why not?
8. Countless men strut around in little hot pants completely unironically. It’s jarring at first. And to be honest, 3 years later, it’s still jarring.
9. Boerewors rolls aren’t that strange as a concept. But I’ve seen boerewors rolls for sale at 7am at a sporting event and also as the ONLY food on offer at a massive concert at FNB Stadium. Saffas, have a word with yourselves. You’re obsessed.
10. Riots don’t exist in South Africa, apparently. They call them “protests” here. Listen, South Africa- if people are burning everything in sight and throwing rocks and bricks at any vehicle that dares to come within striking distance, it’s a riot. Finish and klaar.
11. KFC EVERYWHERE!!!! And in case you’ve completely hit rock bottom and have given up all your dignity, they even deliver. To your house.
12. Guy who invented the rusk, probably: “Ok everybody, hear me out here. You know how bread is awesome? And you know how toast is also kinda neat? Well, what if we had something LIKE toast, but so much worse, because it’s super duper stale and absolutely inedible.”
South Africans: “Sharp. We like it.”
13. A glass of wine at a restaurant is about half the bottle. OK, this isn’t so much weird as it is awesome, but still- if you’re not ready for it, it’s a bit shocking.
14. Taxis. There are no rules. Welcome to the Thunderdome.
15. Try to host a braai and NOT have your Saffa guests show up with a cooler box full of brandy and Coke. Just try. I dare you.
16. If you want to wash your hands, you often get to choose whether to freeze them or scald them. If only mixer taps were invented more than 100 years ago, and…oh, right. They’ve been around since 1880. Just not in South Africa.
17. Cricket. Just…cricket. I swear they make it up as they go along.
18. You guys are sneaky with your “now,” “just now,” and “now now.” I’ve found out the hard way (over and over again) that they ALL mean “I’ll get around to it when I feel like it. Or not at all.”
19. The word “shame” is meant in a good way. Or a bad way. Sometimes both in the same sentence.
20. You can get a vehicle in any colour in South Africa. As long as it’s white. (OK, other colours DO exist here, but not many people choose them)
21. Kids who are obviously from well-off families and are otherwise loved running around barefoot. Don’t feel the need to donate money to buy them shoes. They have shoes. They just like the “homeless chic” look.
22. No matter how big the room is, there will be only one electrical outlet in it, leading to goat rodeos like this:
23. For the entire month of December, the whole country just…shuts down. Don’t plan to get anything done until January.
24. Personal space isn’t a thing. It’s normal to feel someone’s breath on your ear when you’re in a queue at the grocery store. (I’ve found you can keep them at bay, though, by turning around and standing backwards. It usually gives you a few extra cm of wiggle room).
What did I miss? Let me know in the comments.
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Howzit my china. It’s kief to see these uniquely SA things. Some of us need to have a cup of tea and ‘dunk an Ouma’! I had a great laugh at the article as well as the comments following.
Ok, maybe I’ve adapted more than I thought….I was able to understand everything you just said!
Ach shame, you’re going to miss it all when you go!
I already miss it, and I haven’t even left yet!
So funny
I enjoyed reading every point in this piece. I think you are more South African than you think. Keep writing…
Thanks for the very kind words! I’ll keep writing as long as South Africa gives me material to write about (so in other words….forever)
Hey my bra soek jy n kanker stokie
Ha! Yes, that too. There a a LOT more smokers here than back home in Canada…
$15-$20 a pack of 25 that’s why😅
Nou rook ons somer kooi poep!
What about the way when someone tells you anything about anyone else they always say what race the person was? It’s not meant racially – but saffas are obsssesed with categorising everyone into a race. As if this is fundamental.
It’s kind of hard to avoid when there are so many races living in one country, hence the term Rainbow Nation. Imaging saying that it was that Durban guy who sold the bunny chow 😬😬
But not always neccesary to know the race of someone in order for the story to proceed. There aren’t any more races living in SA than there are in the UK and yet people don’t feel the need to mention someone’s race all that time. In fact when saffas first move here or visit its one of the things that’s pointed out to them to stop doing by kind relatives and friends in order to integrate better.
This could be very true – but ask any American where he comes from – it will always be Chicago Illinoi – never just Chicago or whatever town it happens to be.
In the UK, people whisper asides to S Africans (she’s black). I don’t much care what she is, but when I meet her, I can’t relate, because she’s usually not much darker than I and has a local accent. The Brits are actually far more racist: anti Muslim and antisemitic, anti Polish, and Check and Maldovian and French and all!
Not only are there many races, there are many cultures in South Africa, each with their own idiosyncracies that make for a wonderfully diverse society… That is why, when stories are told, the race (culture) is often mentioned….
So true. I live in England and only this morning a neighbour asked me where I was from. When I said South Africa she replied, very surprised, “but you are white”.
Very true check the comment below to prove it 🤣
Now lets face facts – paper and all…Fizzers are awesome if only they brought the Tiger Toffee’s back – 2 for a 1/2 Cents 🤗
My 4 year old has gotten into this habit as well. I was horrified when he came home and referred to a boy in his class as ‘that Indian boy’ …. I’m Indian by the way! Lol
And frikkadelle and Ja-Nee (Yes-No) and koeksisters and koesiesters and milk tart and chutney and that we can literally braai ANYTHING! 🤣🇿🇦
The braai culture here is definitely next level! I love it!
Ja-Nee… South Africans are the only people I know of in the world that will BRAAI in ALL 4 SEASONS 🤣
I don’t know…I’ve been caught outside in the snow in nothing but my underwear at 7am having a BBQ…
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m a Londoner, 38 years in SA. I remember someone saying “ wortelblokkies”, (root veg) a week after we arrived. Paroxysms of mirth all round. We , eventually, used it as a term of endearment.
What my daughter loved when she returned from Swrden one day at ORT, a friendly black guy welcomed the “tourists” and when my daughter told hom “hi there, its okey, I’m from SA, he smilef and said: ‘sweet my mummeeee”😅
Can we not add droer wors ,biltong, and brandy and coke.Or in Natal spook and diesel (Cane and coke>
Not to mention a John Deere – cream soda and cane. And a ‘Green Ambulance’ – just the cream soda for the morning after the night before!
Then there’s also “Jannie Verjaar” (Jannie’s birthday) juice … either the bright red soda or the cream soda!
Sondagskoolkoeldrank! 🙂
The green ambulance is always a life saver😂😂😂 I’ve been searching high/ low, up and down for that, but can never get the same effect with “something simular “🙈
Iron Brew. Found it just as effective 🙂
I love iron brew! We don’t have it in Canada.
Christina in Canada Cream Soda is pink! So weird same taste, but just doesn’t look right in pink!
What? You find the taste to be the same??? I still can’t drink the green stuff. It tastes like soap to me.
Lol it is so funny that we can never get over the pink colour for a cream soda and you the other way round. And when I bought the green cream soda at the SA store in Edmonton my kids friends did not like it at all. I’ll do a blind taste again! For me both taste soapy! My kids love it, I’ll pass. Try a cream soda float. Vanilla ice cream in an ice cold cream soda.
Ok, I can get behind the float. If I close my eyes…
In England Cream Soda is see-through! Try being put on the spot and having to guess what you’re drinking without seeing the bottle 😳.
I know that as a green mamba
OK, after 3 years…I still have so much to learn. What do you mean when you refer to “cane?”
Cane Spirits. A local alcohol made of sugar cane
Oh WOW! Cane is sugar cane alcohol, quite literally cheap and nasty, best served with something equally toxic like cream soda or my best, raspberry soda! The authentic way is but a 2l soft drink, down 500ml, replace with the equivalent of cane. Turn it upside down once to mix and then drink away, fools anyone who sniffs to check, goes down like candy! Not too mention other very special SA treats not available in the “first” world: fishpaste. Top deck. Anything Beacon- no peppermint crisp or chocolate marshmallow eggs. No caramel corn. No sago. No Bakersman – Romany creams, or tennis biscuit or chokits, or lemon creams!?! Ugh. So enjoy it all on my behalf!!
In Aus we have fishpaste, topdeck (Cadbury), sago and caramel corn. All other items on your list are also easily sourced in one of the many Saffa shops around
KJ you can get most of the things youre missing from Sussmans Best Biltong in Sussex.
I don’t know how Jilly P can get SA chocolates in Sussex as it’s banned here the UK, has been for a couple of years now, but you can get the Australian version of peppermint crisps which although not the same does fill the yearn from time to time…my favourite though is marsh mellow mice the liquorice tails is the best!
No man – it was cane, lime and lemonade when I was a teen. Dead sophisticated. And klapped you one time the next morning, which only a coke and vetkoek could cure…maybe a bunny if vetkoek unavailable.
LOL in Zimbabwe the mixture of a smell-less and tasteless spirits drink with very sweet mixer is called a “sneaky puff adder” because it turns around and bites you on the ass when you aren’t looking. Guys buy it for girls so they chug it like cooldrink…
Cane is an alcoholic drink that is usually mixed with lemonade 🤣
It was always cane and coke.
Came = Spook (clear liquid alcohol)
Coke = Diesel (and it’s colour)
So a tot or two of Cane (like Vodka) and top up with Coke and Ice and you get a Spook and Diesel.
Hahaha love this list! Only thing is I don’t think you’ve had the right rusks yet!!
I’ll second that… Rusks can be super yum 🙂
What about pap en sous (gravy) and ‘n braaibroodjie!?
Its always interesting how foreigners comment about SA, but Canada is a lot worse than SA when it comes to driving skill in snow, they are not allowed to make open fires, their indians are “locked” up in reserves, they eat jerkey (cooked biltong), they drive on the wrong side of the road. All that they have for tourists is maple syrup. They clean their own homes, they control their home temperatures, the barbeque!, they import weird looking and tasting fruit, and sheep.
The best place in the world is SA.
Wait…”Canada is a lot worse than SA when it comes to driving skill in the snow…” I have yet to see any South Africans drive in the snow here…maybe climate change has really accelerated in the last couple of years, but I must have missed the days when there were huge blizzards and ice on the road…
🤣🤣🤣 South Africans lose the ability to drive when a few drops fall from the sky. God knows what would happen if it snowed 😬😬
In 1983 it snowed in Johannesburg and I was doing business – drove all day in the snow!
Haha, that is very true! In Cape Town a cloudy day enough to wipe all driving memory…and it (usually/hopefully) rains all winter, you’d think they’d have caught on by now
Best to get out and walk if it snowed as you are likely to get wiped out!! Taxis + snow = mayhem.!!!
Hmmm … clearly Martin hasn’t spent too much time in Canada! I’m a proud Vancouverite from Durbs. I’ll hold down the fort on this end if you’ll do the same on your end! 😉
Deal! You rep SA there, and I’ll rep Canada here! I hope you’re loving Canada as much as I’m loving SA!
Lynne
Another transplant from Durbs here in Vancouver – had a big laugh at how brilliantly you captured the essence of our culture! Don’t know if its allowed but I love “windgat” for some mindless person speeding way above the limit. No Canadian equivalent – sorry. Too polite? Also, love “oke” as in “Hey you okes, come and check my new jammie (car)”. Add tinned guavas, mielie meal, Maltabella, Mrs Ball’s Chutney (all kinds). Keep up the blog – you have an acute eye!
Lynne
Doos….
Many years ago (Mid 70’s) my family had emigrated to SA. I went to dinner at a friends house and was told that the above word was Afrikaans for peas. There were paroxysms of delight as I showed off my newly acquired language skills by asking for said vegetables.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I think someone’s going to get woes!
Clean their own homes is normal as you pay maid here $20 a hour. Im South African and what i have learnt about living in the USA as what a sense of entitlement us South Africans have and having someone clean our house at slave labour prices is considered normal is beyond me. And moan if we have to pay more than R100 ($8) a day for one of the most exhausting jobs in the world! I use to be so proud being a South African but after cleaning my house with a kid and animals in it and only been able to get a maid for 2 hours 2x a month has really shocked me into reality of how little our these people make in SA for the amount of work they expected to do in one day. I dont do half as what Lizbit my old domestic did daily and i also use automatic floor and mopping robots daily. We think we are the shit but in reality we are thought of as privalaged fools in this world. We really have lived a Royal life style at slave prices. Time SA grows up and joins the First World mind set.
I think you should perhaps speak for yourself and not everyone in SA. I don’t pay my staff slave labor salaries, I only have someone to help twice a week and I tend to not to think of myself as someone extra special. I don’t moan about paying them extra. I have joined the first world mindset years ago, perhaps you should have too before moving to an even more privileged place.
By having a domestic that I pay a decent wage. I have provided income for an entire family that had nothing before 3 extra children are now clothed, fed and educated all because I’m “a privalaged fool” that can’t clean her house.
This whole dicusion was supposed to be funny positive things about SA.
If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.
SA all the way!
Leker man lekker man
True words
Well, I’m sure that at some point the majority of middle to upper-income homes in SA had domestic help regularly up until about 10 years ago, but most middle-income folk can’t afford it anymore anyway. Sad that many low-income workers haven’t got the jobs anymore, but I simply can’t afford to pay the R250/day (considerably more than above estimates which I can only assume is because said poster left SA some time back) for that kind of help. I have done my own housework for 10 plus years, while in a full-time middle management job, and running two other businesses on the side… and I still can’t afford extra help. SA’s economy is a bit crap now, unfortunately. Though I will concede that rates of pay when I stopped employing staff were indeed quiet awful.
R250/day! What a bargain. I pay AUD90 (about R900) for three hours every forthnight…As an ex Saffa now living in Australia I’m afraid I have to agree with Bronwyn. Saying ALL South Africans have a sense of entitlement is maybe going a bit far but I would go so far as saying MANY South Africans have a sense of entitlement. The younger generation are worse than the older ones – and younger South African tourists are particularly irritating. Moving overseas and cooking your own meals, cleaning your own house, making your own bed, doing your own laundry, mowing your own lawn, running your own errands is a big shock for many South Africans (I know because they are not shy moaning about it). Not being able to pay the maid or garden boy a pittance to stay around for a few ‘extra’ hours to mind the kids while you go out for dinner with your mates … babysitting in Australia costs R200-R300 per hour. I visit friends and family in SA often and every time I am reminded how good middle and upper class South Africans have it. But then on the other hand…in Australia I can leave my house and car unlocked without getting my stuff stolen. I don’t need to live in a prison with 8 ft security fences, security cameras, razor wire, and 24-hour surveilance. I can go for a walk any where, any time of the day and night without fear of being mugged. I don’t take my life in my hands every time I get into my car to drive somewhere. I live in a country where things are getting better, not worse (although some might disagree) and I can still buy all the koeksisters, biltong, mielie pap, rusks, droewors and boerewors I want (albeit at inflated prices) because there are so many other Saffas over here!
Bronwyn you know what? You are absolutely right. The one thing we should never ever have done was to employ others to do our dirty work.
I 100% agree Bronwyn, I’ve been living overseas for just over a year now and I’m embarrassed by what we used to pay our domestic worker. Saffers will always respond to these posts defensively, claiming they pay their staff members a “living wage”, but calculate how long it would take your staff member to buy the house next to yours and see if you’re still paying them a reasonable amount. The argument is always made that if the minimum wage was higher, there’d be more unemployment. Seems to me that there’s plenty of unemployment in SA even with the bargain-basement minimum wage, whereas countries with minimum wages over R25,000 a month struggle to find enough workers because unemployment is so low.
I agree with Kate. I paid R275 a day for a domestic helper once a week. I’m disgusted by people who pay less that R250 and forget to give increases annually – they should be ashamed of themselves.
If you only paid your maid R100 you definitely were partaking in the slave labour!!!
Are you proposing we get rid of the domestic workers and gardeners?
Ditto that!
Hell yeah
Why so serious, Marty? Chill. I’m a Saffer and I thought this was abolutely hilarious! It’s not a competition boet – it’s one person’s experience of life in SA.
Really well written and astute. Cheers.
yep loved it too.
Thanks Mark! And ya…there’s always one…
I found this bloc really funny and definitely not insulting and I am from South Africa. Born and bred here. Now he can add to his bloc some South Africans like to insult people when they cant see humour into anything. This guy didn’t insult us but you insulted him. Why?
You being belligerent South Africans don’t know how to drive in snow because we don’t get enough never have! There are plenty tourist things to do in Canada maybe you went to the wrong part!
What about springbokkies (a shooter mix of amarula and mint liqueur) and condensed milk in your tea. And being able to order rooibos from any restaurant INCLUDING McDonald’s! 🤣
I just laughed when I read your observations, Martin! I’m from Cape Town living in Alberta for 19 years. What happened to your humor when you read this blog? First of all the word you’ve used for our Aboriginal population is just such a no-no than the insulting word we do not use in SA to describe the Black population. So please do not use it. Lol we actually drive on the RIGHT side of the road like 69% of the world [165 countries opposed to 75?]. Funny that the 21 million visitors (2018) visited Canada for Maple syrup! Hope they got to see the beautiful landscapes, forests, trails (Trans-Canada Trail, 24,134 km long used safely for hiking, biking, equestrianism, cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, canoeing), turquoise lakes, beaches, ski slopes and mountains (Rocky mountains come to mind) as well? Luckily they spent $80.8 billion (on maple syrup??) from January to September 2018? Make that conversion to SA rand, fascinating, eh? We clean our own homes, isn’t that what you’re suppose to do? We control our home temperatures because we can, no need to shiver inside the house as when I visited Cape Town in June. For your info barbecue (correct spelling!) existed long before a braai was even a thought – the English word “barbecue” and its cognates in other languages come from the Spanish word barbacoa. After Columbus landed in the Americas in 1492, the Spaniards apparently found indigenous Haitians roasting meat over a grill consisting of a wooden framework resting on sticks above a fire. The word barbecue was published in English in 1672 as a verb from the writings of John Lederer, following his travels in the North American southeast in 1669-70. We import “weird looking fruit” because we have such a diverse population and for them it is not weird and we experience other cultures with an open mind … we even import oranges and grapes from SA (that for the record is not always the best choice we have, as the oranges from Florida and the grapes from Chili are far better quality). Canadians do not like lamb, so why keep it, it is imported from NZ for SAns and Indians (from India!). Your comment about driving skills in snow is so laughable, that I think you wrote all your babbling just to evoke controversy! Yes, the best place in the world for SAns is in SA, for me as a proud Canadian, the best place in the world is Canada. And so say every person in the world of their homeland. That is a “feeling” from our hearts, where we and our family are happy.
Uhhhh…Martin….this what being completely owned looks like.
Elmarie, I’m glad you’re now a proud Canadian! Sounds like you love it as much as I love SA.
I LOVE Canada, the people are so welcoming and kind! The job satisfaction in the medical field is why we moved here. But we got so much more!
I love Canada and all the stuff you have there. My brother lives there and has a great life on his farm! Tried to immigrate there but alas we left it too late! You Canadians are the most kind and polite people that I have met in my life. That word (eh! ) just makes my day!
If I remember correctly, EVERYONE is Aunty or Uncle?
Yes! My kids have so many aunts and uncles now…
Honestly I love fizzles.Truthfully I have given up on that tiny little white piece of paper that gets stuck on each end,so I eat it,after all I’m South African ,if I’ve survived till now nothing can harm me.Some of the other stuff I love that are truly South African-Eskimo pies,milktart(yes the cake and alcohol version),and knowing if a guy says to you “listen nicely now “-he is not being nice.See you later,means tomorrow or a week or a months time and yes maybe even later.SA,forever my home,miss it everyday
We aren’t living in SA anymore but are struggling with kids calling you on your first name. Im slowly getting use to it, but the rest of the household not so much 🙊
When children address adults by their first name – it shows a total lack of respect! Sadly, even in South Africa, mainly English children are dropping the ‘Uncle/Aunt’ or ‘Sir/Miss’ that we are used to!!!
Mapleandmarula that is brilliant. Definitely makes one laugh out loud. Loved it
I was about to also post ‘China’.
Having lived in SA for ten years, two (more) things I find weird are:
1) Saying sorry – your friend bumps their toe and you say “oh, sorry”. South African response “it’s not your fault”. I KNOW it’s not my fault, i am sorry that as my friend you are in pain 😂
2) “Don’t you just want to…” – So everyone else in the world will politely say “please may you pass me the salt”, for example. A South African “Don’t you just want to pass me the salt man?” 🤦🏾♀️
Yes! Definitely those two things!
Oh also in South Africa don’t trust any person who answers your question with “I’m sure….” as it means the opposite.
Haha! Howzit? So true!
Thoroughly enjoyed this. Came across this by looking up what braai was. Hope all is well.
Read this below and you will just love us more!
http://travelbucket.co.za/why-we-love-sa/?hilite=%27LOVE%27%2C%27OUR%27%2C%27LANGUAGE%27
I think that our Canadian way of saying Sorry is similar to Shame.
Interesting to see my beloved country from an outsiders’ perspective. Proudly South African.
Phil you obviously have not discovered the Ayrshire Rusks available from Woollies yet. Do yourself a favour.
The Muesli ones are THE BEST. Our son and daughter in law were here from Calgary this time last year.I introduced them to this tasty coffee time treat.
Multiple packets of these rusks were pushed into every corner of their return home luggage to a point where excess weight baggage was starting to loom on the horizon…..
And they didn’t last very long once they were home…
Now they want to know when we will be able to bring more. They will just have to come home again for a holiday!
Don’t forget that we love to say “ya no” confusing the hell out of people
Not sure why it confuses people. I’m now in Australia and they say yeah nah all the time. Exactly the same
Sorry but is “Ja nee” It is lekker!
Yup – Australians also have tendency to say ‘yeah nah’, particularly up north.
Bogger die rusks. What we eat is beskuit, those big fluffy aniseed ones that suck up all the coffee in your mug. Rusks are for sissies
Thank you for this piece of nostalgia… sitting in New Zealand on the South Island there are many things that being a flutter of homesickness every now and again.
The shorts caught my eye and I giggled as I often pass the remark about the short shorts of the local Cantabrians here in Canterbury who in the dead of winter wear them with jandals(slops to us Saffas) and don’t flinch an inch due to the cold and there I am wrapped up in layers competing for the title of Michelin man !
I concur! 🤣😊
Hm….MAYBE I’ll give it a go. I’m still skeptical…
What about the wonderful pig noise ear and throat clearing people do only when they Right behind you then stop when you move away. SISS
You need to try homemade beskuit – it is better than anything bought in a store. Where is the Koesisters/Koeksisters (yes there is a difference), Braaibroodjies and Mrs Balls chutney? 😋
Lekkerrrrrr
I can’t believe I didn’t give these incredible staples a shout out in the post! Next one…
Hi Mary. I live in Uk and there is a site that sells SA food on line and if you request they are happy to out source stuff from Woollies if you want it. I got a few for my daughter and they were fantastic.
Oh I love and miss those so much! Every time someone goes to SA they have to bring back a packet. Live in the US and with their strange ban on anything meat related can’t get biltong or proper ‘Wors’. Some SA friends gave my son a biltong making machine that works well so some consolation! Love this thread
We get delicious Biltong and Wors here in the US. Try Ayoba-Yo. They ship!!!!
I should have known better than to question rusks- if there’s one thing Saffas are passionate about, it’s rusks!
To be fair, I think the complaint was about stale rusks. Who let’s their rusks go stale?! They usually don’t last that long.
Don’t they start stale? Those suckers are hard as a rock!
Not stale at all, it gets dried out in the oven for hours. Buttermilk rusks are the BOMB!
There are 2 stores in Calgary that sell home baked rusks or why not bake it yourself, they are welcome to my recipe, I live in Red Deer very close to Calgary.
I stopped when I read “South Africans invented Heart Transplant”. True, the 1st human heart transplant was done in Cape Town….but Dr Christian Barnard received his Medical Degree from the University of Minnesota (USA). He was one of many working on the concept. So NO, it was not invented by S. Africans. Barnard just happened to be the 1st to try with an adult human. Others working with him were trying with infants and young children first. Go read up.
Thanks for the clarification!
“Bunny Chow” can be confusing. It originated by the Indian community in Durban. I married into an Indian family from Durban. Why is it called “Bunny Chow” ? Because a Bunny (Rabbit) burrows into a hole. Thus the Curry (Mutton is my fav) is packed into a hulled out 1/2 loaf of bread, then smothered with the gravy and the inside bread placed on-top. Very delicious.
No – the origin of Bunny Chow is Bania Ou’s chow. Kapitan’s Restaurant Grey Street in Durban served curry “to go” to caddies from the Royal Durban Golf Course. The food was the “merchant’s food” (the bania caste), hence corruption of the word Bania to Bunny.
If you want further info, I can give you the really long version.
Phillip, read up next time
Thanks Allan, great info. I am going to dine out on that.
Great come back, Debbie. I like you.
@Debbie – 😂
Thank you Allan Moore for posting the correct meaning of Bunny chow as a Durbanite I too know this real meaning, one of my all time favourite Indian foods and I make my own now including my mix of spices taught to me by a good Indian friend after I swore an oath never to repeat the recipe to anyone ha ha
Please excuse the snotty ones 🙄 I mean really, this is just a bit of fun from your viewpoint. “God read up….” I’d kick that person off the page and block them.
I’m a pretty tolerant person…It’s how Canadians roll!
Well said! Loved the article.. made me proud! .. a little poetic license is ok! Bogger die feite! Goeie begrip het n halwe woord nodig!
Yolanda, that last comment gets the hair on the back of my neck rising when my husband uses it in an argument 😖
My guess on traffic lights – they are robotic traffic officers (minus the white gloves).
Goeie gryper het net ‘n halwe brood nodig
Goeie gryper het net ‘n halwe brood nodig
Or like mom used to say, n goeie gryper het n halwe brood nodig 😊
Really? Go read up?! Strewth!!! I loved your article, thank you.ts hot here, so there is a need for point 8, and if I looked decent, would also opt for pants that short! Dont bother to ‘look up’, Chris Barnard and his team had the balls to perform the first Heart transplant, thats what counts! And I dont need to ‘look up’ bunny chows, we used to sneak down to a cafe in Point Rd..dangerous, according to most, and sit right there on the pavement to eat the BEST Binnies in the world! I dont mind at all if those same peeps who told you to ‘Go Look Up!’ send me messages about spelling or it being bad to use so many exclamation marks!!! I am South African, I am a little stressed, I also speak up, when I feel like it, like now, and like the present Government, if I dont appreciate your criticism, will ignore you, I also have a sense of humor, so if my comments irk you, I made them, because I know, they might make some people laugh, And they feel the same way.Go look up…Which , incidentally, in SA, means Go Pray!
Bernard did the first heart transplant in humans because US laws forbid it. Learned that on a wonderful tour at The Heart of Cape Town museum at Groote Schuur hospital.
👍🏻 I agree, it’s just fun!!!
FYI. I preferred South Africa’s INVENTED the heart transplant. Way better than blah, blah, blah, go read up
And that was all you took from this article? Without wanting to sigh too heavily and say ‘Ag shame’…. May I suggest a packet of Nik Naks and a chocolate steri stumpi might help brighten your day… And I think we’ll still claim the first successful heart transplant 🙂
Most definitely! The whole world credits SA with the first heart transplant but you couldn’t move on because of that one thing???
No please! Americans are the chocolate nuts.
The only steri stumpi I would touch is cream soda followed by banana as fallback.
😂😂 sounds like you’ve been eating too many rusks dude.
Lol you must be fun at a jol.
Awesome post. Loved reading it. Just for interest sake: rusks were actually a kind of cake made in the Netherlands but when the “voortrekkers” made it while moving from Cape Town upwards, it hardened quicker. Because of that, they could make a lot while camping and have something to eat for breakfast while on the move. Biltong and droee wors was also perongeluk made or invented like this.
Another weird fact… the first person who packaged and sold rusks were a man (who obviously had no idea how to actually make it…as men didn’t bake) but it was Ouma’s recipe. The same woman who invented Simba chips, the first crisps in the world. Ironic that SA invented the electric car seeing how we have have a lack of electricity lol. Also, I have never seen an electric garage (petrol station). Funny how we call petrol stations garages lol.
Biltong and droewros I can get behind! Almost a daily snack for me!
Hey Phil
Great post. I’ve turned biltong selling into a little part gig as an expat….though I’ve got more American than Canadian customers…..Would you say Americans are bigger meat eaters?
Some very intersting points in there about biltong and rusks…but Simba chips were not the first potato crisps in the world. Leon Greyvensteyn got the idea from Herman Lay (the co-founder of Frito-Lay in the USA). Greyvensteyn’s mother commercialised her traditional family recipe for rusks in 1939. Leon toured Frito-Lay’s factory in the 1950s and launched Simba Chips in 1957, more than 100 years after potato crisps were ‘invented’ in the UK or USA (depending on which legend you believe).
🙄🙄🙄
Hey Phillip,
Christiaan Barnard was definitely South African. He went to the University of Cape Town Med School.
He lived down the street from me in Newlands.
Uhm, actually… Dr. Chris Barnard is from Beaufort West in the Karoo and the town is VERY proud of “their son”. He received his MBChB, Masters in Medicine and Doctorate in Medicine from UCT. He only did a visiting scholarship of 2 years in Minnesota where he did become interested in open heart surgery but he was as South African as biltong my friend! Don’t take that away from us and don’t even try to give it to the Americans.
I loved the article.
On the Chris B comment, I think the key is rather that he performed the first successful heart transplant, rather than invented the concept.
Either way I think the article is a bit of fun and an enjoyable read! Bit extreme to want to stop reading!
Thank you – am a saffa living in the Uk, and this was lovely and made me feel nostalgic!
Are you this fun at parties? Lol
FYI. He was born South African. Also performance the 1st SUCCESSFUL heart transplant on SA soil. Where he got his degree from is irrelavent. Point is it 1st happened successfully by a Saffa in Saffa.
Stop being so petty. Dr Barnard could have studied on Mars, he was still a South African and the first SUCCESSFUL heart transplant was performed in SA and he was the accredited surgeon.
Ag djou ma se Porsche man.
Hey so South Africans Perfected the heart transplant. It was carried out by a South African, in South Africa, on a South African. Your semantics are tiresome dude.
Chris Barnard was born in Holland but was an SA citizen by the time he made the successful transplant op.
Chris Barnard was born in Beaufort Wst, Cape Province, SA
Chris Barnard was born in Beaufort Wst, Cape Province, SA. And no, moderator or whoever, I have NOT said that before.
Troll haha
who cares. Honestly?
Ag shame…. there’s always got to be one vrot one nê 🤣
Bollocks. The word comes from aderivation of Bhani.This was a traditional take away/ workman meal from the Bhani people.
Ja , no , ah shame but he was first first over the line – so we are sticking to our guns. We did the first heart transplant ( it’s like saying that Chaucer didn’t write the Canterbury Tales because he didn’t invent the alphabet)
Nope, sorry. Prof Barnard received his medical degree from the University of Cape Town. He completed post graduate training in Minnesota, which led to the first transplant. He was a South African doctor, working with a South Africa team
In reply to the entire heart op debate: get a life, guys. Did you know that the MRI machine was invented in SA as were dolosse (the huge concrete blocks used in harbours worldwide)?
Something new to fight about. 🙂
Does anyone know that there is a South African made product on the moon?
It’s Pratley’s putty! The astronauts had it in stock … not sure why.
You must be such fun at parties!
What about the way when someone tells you anything about anyone else they always say what race the person was? It’s not meant racially – but saffas are obsssesed with categorising everyone into a race. As if this is fundamental.
BUT Dr C Barnard was very much an actual born and bred South African, the fact that he had degrees from USA and South Africa seems like hair-splitting…
And in any event, Elon Musk neither invented the electric car, nor is he a South African. By any commonsense test he is an American.
Chris Barnard studied medicine at the University of Cape Town and after specialising in Thoracic surgery, did some post graduate study in Minnesota.
Just to get the facts right
As a matter of fact, Chris Barnard received his medical degree (MBChB) as well as his specialist degree at UCT. At the University of Minnesota he obtained a PhD. Yes, of course many people worked on this, that is how advances in medical sciences are made. Nevertheless, Chris Barnard and his team at UCT were the first to achieve a successful human heart transplant You go read up.
Awesome! Love it!
I’m a proud South African…you have missed so many things but I’m afraid you wouldn’t catch it because you weren’t born here. Every true Saffa knows Koos van der Merwe..the Afrikaans crowd loves using the words Doos and F!k and it is completely acceptable because it just sounds so much better than the English words. We do love our rusks…if you buy homemade ones you will get hooked too. The mass produced ones like Ouma is yuck. And the personal space only applies to some of our tribes…because they live in small huts or houses and 10 share 1 room. It irritates the shit out of me when I have a breather on my shoulder. At the moment many people are emigrating but because of all our little things that make me part of this nation I will probably stay…dunk my rusk and say ag Fok..let’s keep trying. We are quite a resilient nation.
F*k and d**s are really very rude words.
And very much used, rude or not, welcome in the R of SA!
wow that tribe bit was a bit unnecessary and really not true or cool. don’t do that
It’s 100% a cultural thing, tied to tribes. Denying that is ignoring facts.
Joe, that’s just fucking racist.
Ag tog
Not racist at all. Joe did not say it was a racial thing. He said it was a cultural thing. There are big cultural differences in non-verbal communication, public display of affection, proximity and personal space. These differences are well established and accepted in international research in anthropology, sociology, communication etc. Cultures are different. That is a fact and commenting on these differences does not make one racist.
I don’t know, I’ve experienced loads of bonehead Dutchmen get in my personal space.
Don’t be a poes, Ilse. You’re behaving worse than Julius.
@ WhiteDude: both your handle and use of the word “Dutchmen” clearly mark you out as the real racist here. And a pretty classless and uneducated one too judging by your appalling use of foul laguage.
It’s definitely not a race thing- people from all kinds of backgrounds here have crowded up on me! (Some even wearing their hot pants…)
Dude please add a like button:)
What do I look like to you, an internet scientist? (But until I figure that out, you can always share on social media)
I will find you and I will stand behind you, breathing on you. Then I will go back to my huge house in Sandton and laugh.
This was really fun to read. I had a good laugh. Thanks 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to read it!
Agree;)
#peanutgallery
Love it Phil!! Especially the part with the one outlet per room!!! 🤣🤣 We are currently busy with chasing to add one or two more per room in our house…
Ps: tomorrow is once again a junior shooting day if you and your son want to attend again 😃
I presume it’s target shooting and not shooting juniors 🙈🙈😜😜😜👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Make sure you grab your boerie roll early!
Haha- yes! The local outdoors club sponsors shoots for women and juniors to help them feel comfortable and get used to the sport with no pressure. It was a lot of fun!
One outlet per room and having to decorate and arrange your room according to what an architect a few decades ago thought would look nice.
My uncle worked at the Ouma se Beskuit factory. I was in school before I realised that you get homemade rusks as well. It rocked my world.
Haha, yes! It drives me bananas!
Oh man- we would have LOVED to go- but we have a full day with a school sports day, Oktoberfest, and a birthday party tonight. We’ll join next time! We had a great time.
Also, how did you make the connection to this site? I don’t remember talking about it with you, but my memory is awful at the best of times…small world if you just stumbled across it!
Where in Pretoria is this? I’m a lady and I’d like to get shooting a bit! I’m from Pretoria South (aka Centurion)…
We bought a 115 year old house a few years ago and it cost us over R100 000 to add more plugs in every room!
It’s not just the old houses though- that’s the insane thing! The house I’m in is only a few years old…and still we struggle to find enough outlets!
I sold my Durban home 18 months ago. To get an electric certificate, an electrician stripped all the newer wiring out of the house, so we lost half the plug points in the kitchen, all in the dining room, and all in both bedrooms. Back to the dark ages! We’d lived there for 17 years with no problems! Pathetic!
The lighter side of life !! Just perfect, to help unwind after a hectic week in S.A. – thanks for the chuckle!
Sometimes we all need a reminder of why we love it here!
Don’t forget the two vehicular gems: the ‘boot’ of your car and the ‘hooter’. Those got a laugh from my kids.
What do other people call a car ‘boot’?
Car boots are known as the “Trunk”
In Afrikaans…kattebak. (a tin / bowl for cats.
I thought that was in the fron if an elephant 😂
Thats US, here in SA we speak UK English
In Australia…a boot. The front is called a bonnet. I believe in the US it is hood and trunk? Although South Africans are the only people I know who call the glove compartment a ‘cubby hole’
A trunk. Lol
Sorry guys….boot and hooter are the proper English words used all over the world (you can check the dictionary). Only Americans and Canadians say trunk as well as many other words that they have changed. Save a few expressions, our English is the same as the rest of the world (UK/Oz/New Zealand, …..)
What about the bonnet?
‘The bonnet’ is the proper English word as well all over the world.
In the US and Canada they probably say ‘the hood’.
Haha- yes! Especially the hooter.
When we first moved to the US we had a South African pastor at the church we attended. He couldnt understand why the American 1/2 of the congregation were shell-shocked & the South Africans rolling around laughing, when he said “& there I was laying on the hooter”. He had to stop so we could explain to him.
The poor guy! I feel his pain…and yes, I would have lost it too if I heard that in church!
By the way – rusks were invented by ‘OUMA’, that’s grandmother to you!
Point 21: Barefoot is part of our culture!!!
Keep well!!
Wow, id there’s a way to get an Afrikaner defensive, it’s by insulting the rusk… now this has a few points to it.
Firstly, the rusk was invented for the Groot Trek when our forefathers needed food with sustenance that would last long.
Secondly, the rusk is not supposed to be stale (so you have to question your sources). Of it’s stale, pop it in the oven overnight on a low temp to freshen and crisp it up again!
Thirdly, the Ouma rusk (sorry guys) does not cut it. It must be home-made goodness.
Also a “trolley” is known as a shopping cart
By the way, just stand in front of your shopping cart that way you will not have a breather on your back
but make sure you keep your personal belongings on your person at all times xx
Trolley is the proper English word all over the world. Shopping cart is in the US and Canada.
Loved reading this!
I think it’s also pretty South African to have ice in your white wine, the waiters even bring it without us asking for it haha. But I’ve happily taught all my friends from different countries this absolute necessity and they can’t imagine having had their white wine any other way 😄😄😄😄
In the US, my husband and I put ice in our red 🍷 if the day is hot! It truly is a faux pas, but I bet a lot if people do it and don’t admit it!
It is actually not incorrect, red wine was served in Europe at plus minus 19 degrees, there is no way in hell our wine is that temp in summer.
Cheers!
I’ll drink to that! 🥂
This was lekker, I enjoyed that a lot. Especially no.12. Couldn’t not read it without an accent and had a good chuckle.
“Sharp, we like it”
Shame on you about rusks! They’re delicious! 🤣 If you want to sink your teeth into so.ething fresh, Woolies bakeries make mosbolletjies which are rusks before they’ve been dried out. Prepare to have your mind blown…Another way to avoid neck breathers is to stand sideways with your legs open just wider than shoulder width. Works a charm. 🙂
This gave me such a chuckle. Makes me miss home even more!!! What a beautiful crazy nation it is. No place on earth can replace it.
Not to be biased or anything haha 😂I live in Ireland now, but South Africans are still the best people in the world #sorrynotsorry #saforever
Mate, you’re totally missing the casual racism that I’m sure you are all too damn privy too. Seriously, the comments on here are disgusting.
I love how you’re doing your best to fight with anyone and everyone about racism and the rest of the commenters (and OP) are just enjoying each other and the oddities of our country 😂
The casual racism is rampant. You notice it more when you move to a different county and then go back again. When we went out for dinner one night in joburg, when I’d been away for a couple years, we stayed out really late. Afterwards our car was the only 1 in the car park and the car guard was still there. I felt really bad so gave him a R20 note. My friends berated me and told me I was making it difficult for saffas who live there because if I tip them well then ‘they start to expect it.’
Honestly (not all – but a lot of) well off white people think they are slave masters who can bestow tips and treats as they see fit – and then they think they’re generous if they do.
Phil – I cannot tell you how much you made my day with this list. Many of those were on one of my lists as well, but there were some new ones that are so true. Like the fizzes wrapper. Oh, and aluminum foil that always rips. And hamburger buns that aren’t pre-cut. And putting boerewors spices into hamburger patties. Oh, and the one electrical outlet in the room, rusks, and separate hot and cold water faucets – I almost miss those things!
I think we all come to the same conclusions as one point or another! Oh man- I feel you about the aluminum foil! A hairdresser friend here showed us where to get REAL foil (he uses it in his salon), so we’re finally sorted there! Did they have boerewors patty breakfast sandwiches at McDonald’s when you were here? Still haven’t been brave enough to try one…
Aaaah, I would have given anything for proper foil. And proper zip-lock bags.
Also, I cannot believe how many comments you get on your blog, it has grown since I’ve been around last time! I have never had that kind of traffic in my day. Probably because I made a monumentally bad decision in starting it on Blogger and not WordPress. Well done my friend, and good luck with that book (?)!
Thanks Sine! I started on Blogger too…and like you, I find WordPress way better! The blog is going ok, but I need to invest more time in it! Most posts get a couple of thousand views, but this last one is at over 100K in less than 3 days…if only I could figure out what to do and do it again…
Now – Could be now , or now now in 10-30 minutes
Now Now – Could also be now , or not now at all, maybe 2-4 hours
Just Now – Could be later
Later – Could be now now or even never
Ja Nee – Yes
Ja Nee – No
Ja Nee – Not Sure
Ja Nee – *Random comment in conversation as I didnt listen to a word you said
Risking 3rd degree burns to your fingers to rescue the marie biscuit that broke off into the piping hot coffee
*The ultimate sacrifice all Saffas have paid once in their life
Love your comment 🤣😂
Soooooo true …brilliant , thank for reminding
Haha very clear and extremely accurate explanations! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lekker, moerse, donner en bliksem … no english word to translate there full meaning. This was a good read. Luckily there are SA communities sprouting up around the world hopefully the culture will never die. Going to miss SA when we immigrate…
I totally read this while thinking of the reindeer song 🤣🤣🤣
No biltong mentioned…love it!!
Oh yes, can’t forget the biltong. The beef jerky in the States doesn’t compare. When I lived there, that was something I really missed.
You can now but biltong in Walmart… It’s not fantastic but desperate times call for desperate measures. 😀
There’s always the ubiquitous ‘ja well no fine’ which can mean a host of things….
there’s the peppering of 7 languages in a single conversation and everyone just rolls with it…. God bless our rainbow nation for that! Eita my bru!!
White Dude you’re a doos and somebody needs to moer you.
Rusks are great but have to be dunked into a hot beverage. Make your own choc chip buttermilk rusks and dunk them into milo, you won’t regret it.
True story that.. It was served In the half loaf, because the caddies would not bring the plates back… They needed to be at the club house to get the next round of golfers, so would get takeaway.
Just in case you really do want to know,
robots are called thus because the law was/is that a machine cannot tell a human what to do, but a policeman can, so these were robot policemen. 😊
Separate hot and cold taps were because the cold water came out of a cistern, and hot water came from the boiler of the coal stove.
One electrical outlet in each room made perfect sense in the old houses. One in the lounge for your radio, one in the kitchen for your fridge, and, if you were fancy, for the toaster, one in the bedroom for a bedside lamp.
Aaall the other stuff we now plug in didn’t exist, not even the kettle was electric. I still have a spare kettle for my gas stove. ☺
And finally, I cannot to this day get my 23 year old son to wear shoes, even in the middle of the coldest winter!
I love the absolute irony of an individual calling them self “white dude” casting aspersions of racism!
What an absolute poepol 🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for posting this list. I sure gave me the giggles. There are a few others I that I can think of that are not listed.
1) What we call a bakkie, the Americans refer to as a pickup / truck
2) Our kossie or costume you would know as a swim suit.
3) Donkey lighting a cigarette – that is using another persons cigarette to light your own.
3) A braai is referred to as a barbaque in America and a typical braai is with coal & wood.
It’s easy. On the scale of right now to much later, “now” comes first, then “just now” then “now now”.
I’ll do it now (next).
I’ll do it just now (a bit (aka just) later).
I’ll do it now now (next next aka mutch later).
😂
That’s funny how people have it differently.
For me, it’s :
Now (immediately)
Now now (next thing I do)
Just now (later)
Gotta give it to a southafrican to have the guts to try it first.
We also invented the Kreepy Krawly. Go us!
I would add people – some who seem to be older than you?! – calling you Aunty and Mamma. I’ve recently returned after 15 years away and I guess I’m now old enough to be addressed that way!! Never noticed it before.
Have you tried biltong? If not i think you should.
Yes and especially Ostridge biltong You can get stuff you want to have from an online SA store in Oz like mealiemeal to make pup No braai is quite complete without some pup and gravy I love the whole article have been away from SA for over 30 years and confuse people when I say Yes NO and just now “JIst Now” I still have a very strong accent What I would do with some farm help . Only I do like the safe environment as in no break in and never lock my doors Not to say we do not have cattle and sheep being stolen because we do . There is a lot I have had to just keep in memory but bakkie some of the utes here the farmers drive bounce just as much leaving dust behind on farm roads only with dogs barking in the back not farm helpers clinging on for dear life I remember in Natal Mooi River giving some African school kids a lift which meant a dozen sat on the bonnet and bumpers they have such a sense of fun no one else has and when they smile the whole world knows Sure had snow storms there too with the mountains covered in snow and fires the one thing they used to do was create firebreaks about a mile wide something OZ should learn to do. Going back further in my youth worked at Groote Schuur and on Barnard’s ICU with all the heart surgery he did . As to Dr’s they used to come to SA for a year or two from UK and from USA to work there for experience the medical world shares its knowledge then and now . I loved reading this it brought back so many memories , I learnt not to compares as people of other countries like to think they are the better than over there in particular Australians or they will tell you to go back where you came from. My answer is sorry do not know how to climb back into utero? I love the word lekker and ah shame miss hearing those words
You forgot to mention that we say things like, “I’m going to put on a jersey”, instead of a cardigan or jumper. And how at the supermarket we all know what the cashier person means when they say “Plastic?”. That a farmers most likely drive a “bakkie”. And that every type of chewing gum is generically called a “chappie”.
When I was in the UK they thought it was hilarious that I called a jumper a jersey, and that I referred to trousers as slacks… Dresses were often also called frocks altho that was less common. I had to learn to mispronounce the word yoghurt amongst others… Lol.
Not sure if it’s just for Afrikaans people, but we seem to call all nail polish “Cutex”, and all lip balm “Lip ice”, and all markers “koukie” 😂😂 When first going abroad no one knew what I was talking about lol.
Calling running shoes/sneakers “tekkies” is really difficult not to do and causes me to pause when trying to think which one I have to use!
And something which I’m sure a lot of Afrikaans people haven’t even thought about, is how we translate the following so wrongly: “Ek gaan jou met ‘n klip gooi”, we will say it in English exactly the same “I’m gonna throw you with a rock” 😂😂😂😂
Lastly…for now… We seem to make some sounds that are not understood correctly since they might not be universal, the sound we would make which means “really? or seriously?” when I used it with some people, they would just repeat the sentence as if I made the sound that means “what?” 😂😂😂 Took a while to learn to rather say “yeah?” than make the sound hahaha
There is a perfectly logical explanation for a traffic light being called a robot. If you have a man in a factory welding car parts together and you replace it with a machine it is a robot. If you have a man at an intersection directing traffic and you replace him with a machine it is a …. you get it, a robot lol
Is robot not from Dutch ‘rode bot” The red stop, bot as an orderin red
Haaibo! But you are NOT the author of this “list”. You’re just regurgitating someone else’s shit. Gtfoh!
Thanks for the feedback!
(Does your mom know you’re on the internet again? I should probably let her know. I’ll tell her you say hi.)
I could not love this more. The slang! I am already obsessed with slang, and looking forward to looking up all the new ones here (new to me). Love, love, love it all.
We dont say, see you later…afrikaans peeps simply say…see you now now🤣
I was super chuffed with my dark blue Peugeot. Then came summer. Next car I’m getting is either white or a really light colour!
We all know that a green traffic light means “go”, anywhere around the world. South Africa is the only place in the world where the orange light means “drive faster” and not “slow down” 😁.
Schlep is apparently something only South Africans use. Didn’t know this. Didn’t even think about it until someone pointed it out to me today.
Bia, I believe ‘schlepp’is Yiddish, not a South African word.
You’re right! But maybe ‘trek’ is South African in origin?
What about the ‘supermarkets’ at every robot….. where you can buy anything from a cooked mielie to a phone charger 😂😂
What about braai broodjies!
Such a strange concept, but I LOVE them! Looks like I’ll need to do a part 2…
After a long night of speaking and dealing with Americans (these people have alot of financial backing but no common sense at all) in our contact center, this got me laughing and loving where I live.
Great article man, you should visit an Indian community in Durban and write an article about that too, I’m sure you will have a good laugh on how we carry on.
I LOVE Durban- and yes, I should definitely make another trip over and write about it!
Shot bru
Leave our boerewors rolls alone, we love them. What’s wrong with rusks, maybe you just never bought the right ones. Taxi’s …. they also make us angry because they do what they want. Some of us really love our personal space, so it’s a problem for us too. What’s wrong with Cricket, don’t we play it like the other countries? I don’t like white cars. Mixer taps do exist, I see them everywhere … in my home, at my work, the malls I visit. Except for all the problems in our country, South Africa is a LEKKER place!
Corne, 100% Korrect my bru!
I know mixer taps exist here…but so do a TON of the separate hot and cold water ones, which I had never seen in my life until I came here! And yes, agreed- there’s no place like SA on earth!
I absolutely looooooooooved your list! Nice to see South Africa in a positive light on a Sunday morning. Had a good laugh. That is one thing we South Africans (most of us) are good at – laughing at our own expense.😁
Agreed! I LOVE the humour here!
Phil, thanks for the list, fun read. Made me laugh and homesick. I’m thinking of going back, the life and soul of South Africa runs through my veins. Despite the problems, its one helluva country for us all!!
How do say in Afrikaans: “Excuse me, I have not quite heard or understood what you have just said. Can you please repeat it, if you don’t mind.”
Answer: “Huh”
These are very good. Also why do Fizzers even exist, they are gross (like most South African candy).
If you think South African candy is gross – you definitely don’t want to try anywhere else in Africa!!
You’re insanely brave to declare publicly that SA candy is crap! You might as well be insulting boerewors or their mother!
I’ve tried so many times to enjoy Chappies. To no avail.
Sounds like you might be the problem here Heather Ha ha ha
Bru, you forgot about our unique ” drive by shopping”. You can by super glue, cell phone charges, hangars, sun glasses, peanuts, mangos, gosh the list is endless…from the comfort of your car.
You forgot stywepap. Why anyone would think it’s a good idea to eat mealie-meal porridge with meat … oh, wait. The northern Italians do. They call it polenta, and it’s just as disgusting a concoction.
Pap + Wors or Pap + vleis both make great meals!
This made me miss home
South Africa is a RECORD breaking country!
Baragwanath is the biggest hospital in the world
Albert Luthuli Hospital is considered one of the best 10 hospitals in the world
We have the biggest ‘man made’ forest on earth (10 million hand planted trees in Johannesburg)
Johannesburg is the largest city in the world (that is not built on a river)
The Comrades Marathon is known to be the toughest ultra-marathon worldwide
South Africa + England are the only two countries to have hosted ALL 3 World Championships (Cricket, Rugby and Soccer)
South Africa is the only country whose National Anthem is sung in 4 different languages!
Be Proud to be a Boereseun!
Your sense of humour is absolutely fabulous, clearly some South Africans in this post have lost theirs. Thanks for the laugh, it was lekker.
Love it my Bru!!
Don’t forget vetkoek (stuffed with mince for savory or jam for dessert).
Cars have cubbyholes/cubbies instead of glove boxes.
Marmite can be bought overseas but awesome Bovril and Fray Bentos are hard to get… not to mention fish paste (Redro or Pecks Anchovette!… peri peri is awesome).
Cupey Dolls (sp?) and toy cars crafted from coke cans.
Awesome name for bug killer spray … DOOM. Kills all kinda of unwanted critters 🙂
Thanks for the post, lifted the spirits. Cheers!
What a fun article to read and reminded me of so many “typically South African” (in my opinion) things that make us who we are! Def add koeksisters, sterri stumpers and ghost pops or Nik bakes to the food items. My Aussie friends joke about our “now vs now nows vs our just nows” 🤣
Absolutely lekker! Thank you (from a Brit who fell in love with SA years ago)!
Great Blog….keep it positive Peeps!
What about other gems like Marmite, Nando’s, and Mrs. Balls Chutney (which always gets a laugh when I explain it to my Yank friends in California). Love Mrs Balls so much I once stowed 4 bottles in the bottom of my golf bag when coming back from SA to US. Forgot about it until I pulled my driver out on the first tee only to find a sticky handle as a result of broken Mrs. Balls bottles….still love the stuff!!!
Oh ok, but I didn’t know separate hot and cold water taps were unique to SA. I think I grew up with them …. interesting.
So I felt compelled to comment! My son does have shoes, I promise! Seriously though how could you not love kfc!!! Also, I might have to unfriend you because of the rusk comment…… you obviously haven’t tasted my homemade ones!!! But as you should find we South Africans are able to laugh at ourselves….. i can anyway😂
A braai is not a braai if you don’t have braai brootjies. That is a toasty on the coals with cheese, tomato, onion, salt and pepper.
Wjat about tomato sauce. Where does ketchup come from?
Nothing beats All Gold. And a friend visiting the UK, just brought us Peck’s Anchovette and Handy Andy. Yay! Med Lemon is miles better than the UK’s Lemsip and the mayonnaise here is foul stuff, so I thin it down with pickle juice from gherkins. My son buys biltong and droe wors online, so that’s taken care of. There are SA shops and Polish shops in many towns. I bought a few Koo products for old time’s sake.
You forgot the absolute most important BILTONG, and biltong chili sticks and braai packs of meat !
I do miss just-cooked chickens, available at every grocery store in SA, and Sunday lunches from Spar. We didn’t buy either often, but such a treat when cravings hit. Oh, and soup veg packs. Here, making veg soup can cost a fortune, because all the veggies must be bought separately, in packs. And the butternuts don’t taste anything like those in SA. I remember my mother, in Jhb, asking the greengrocer for 5c worth of soup veg. Packs of chopped soup veg, in Durban, cost R20 before we left in 2018. I could make a pot of soup which lasted for five main meals (for two); a couple of soup bones, some split peas, or beans and it was fit for royalty. Here, they liquidise all their soup!
Exactly, Biltong is the only, but most important one they missed out on
♫♪♫Nik Naks, any time any day. Nik Naks, any time any day. Nik Naks are the snacks to eat. Nik Naks, so tasty. ♪♫♪♫
Fizz Pops. The sweet that slices the insides of your mouth and then releases sherbet which causes those wounds to sting and foams to a wonderful red as it mixes with your blood.
I dont know why they make those and why we love torturing ourselves so much.
Then there are the Wilson’s Toffee, thst thing you chew for almost an hour
And happily kept dentists employed….
I am so happy that someone has finally confirmed what I’ve been saying for decades, even if it took a Canadian to do it:
GROWN MEN IN SHORT PANTS JUST DON’T LOOK RIGHT.
I’m the only one you’ll see going for a stroll on the beach in long trousers and old office shoes.
Short pants and barefoot – part of our lifestyle
NOT knee knockers – Rugby shorts!
Just had to reply regarding the 48 political party’s on the ballot. Thank the Pope that we have so many contenders as 2 or 3 contesting party’s won’t work in Africa as it almost results in the complete annihilation of the opposition party/s (literally), generally resulting in a brutal dictatorship/one party rogue state which severely oppresses its people, imprisons or eliminates anyone opposing the regime while looting state coffers for self enrichment – corrupt state/politicians/judiciary/police et al. In most first world countries 2 or 3 contenders work out quite nicely as they have checks and balances in place which ensures accountability. As we have seen up north of our borders, this is not the status quo. Now, imagine if the 3 contenders in S.A were the EFF, ANC and the DA. If the EFF had won our election in May, one can only imagine the trajectory that S.A would be on now. Anyways, that’s just my 5 cents worth.
[insert any question]
Ja no
Great post! I’ve just come back from Canada. What a stunning country. Where you can have a car in any colour, as long as it’s black.
Ha! Touche….
When the temperature is anything below 16 it ia freezing cold, brrrr
Wait….you think Elon musk created the electric car…..? 😄 it was created in the mid 19th century.
Ya, oddly enough, I threw it out there to stir crap up, and you’re only the second person to call me out on it! 🤷♂️
My favorite version of the “now” conundrum is “any time from now.” Call Eskom, “When will power be restored?” “Any time from now!”
Ha! That one drives me bananas!
If you ever visit the West Coast, make a turn in Veldrift and give bokkoms a try. Locals enjoy it with fresh homemade bread, jam and a cup of coffee.
OMG I HOSED MYSELF!
“Thunderdome”! That is so perfect! 😀
How about when we start a sentence with a sing-song “No…”, even if it has nothing to do with the sentence to follow! 😛
No, that’s one I missed…
Hey bro. my vacation starts sometime November and end sometime in Feb. Sometimes i can push it all the way to March.
Haha! I’ve definitely seen the December shutdown spanning much more than December…
I like rusks
In South Africa when winter arrives, the guns get loaded because it’s hunting season for the provision of our yummy droëwors and biltong, I had Belgiums visiting and they really were amazed by the people selling stuff at traffic lights or at popular stops, they just found it odd
Sooooo much biltong (I’m ok with that though…I’m a fan). And yes, the roadside “supermarkets” are really something else!
Before you leave, you must visit me and have some pig’s head, Gordon’s Gin and maybe some Zol. Oh! I can also take you out for some sheep head, tripe (ulusu/mogodu), oxtail and some dumpling. Just indicate your availability and I’ll arrange. How’s that?
I’ll try anything once! I’m in Pretoria- and I’m in. Any weekend day in October…
You forgot the word eish, it’s used whether you are happy, have an accident, when you are annoyed
It’s also the signal that you’re about to descend into the 7th circle of customer service hell….
ha ha ha ha ha that’s really funny!! But Eish you are right!!
Then there’s the well-known fact that when a lady meets a handsome Afrikaans chap at a party, and he invites her at two in the morning to a braai at his place, he really does mean A BRAAI.
Ha! That’s awesome.
Explaining the three-word system to my husband who is British. If it is fresh as in fish, it is in the supermarket and not frozen, if fresh fresh, it has been brought in and has just landed that day, (fresh fish of the day), if it is fresh, fresh, fresh, it has just be caught and is now on the braai. This applies to many words here.
Hangover biltong, for newbies with coffee. He hated me for that one.
2 months of winter, a week of spring, a week of autumn and summer the rest of the year. Explaining to said husband that 32 degrees on the 1st of September is completely normal.
Big raindrops and having to explain that pulling off under the bridge because the water was pissing down so badly the windscreen wipers stood no chance.
1litre klippies, 2l coke and 3l ford
Parktown prawns – enough said
Sugar cane rats, again enough said
Eish, eina, eiwena, kak, mampara, se voet, hamba, jou ma,
Any direct translation of an Afrikaans named animal to English.
Tweebuffellsmeteenskootdoringfontein.
Johannesburg thunderstorms, with said husband, the sky was getting dark and told him to order another beer, argued about travelling through thunderstorm, shat himself when the thunder and lightning started and found one beer was enough to get to blue skies again.
Our sunrises and sunsets.
Wow! What a great list! I agree 100% with everything you said!
Moegoe too!!!! 😂
I’m fairly certain that eating the paper with the fizzer is part of the enjoyment. I have yet to eat one without a bit of paper stuck to it.
Oh and of course I’m a dunker when it comes to my rusks… Though all the Cape Tonians who have no teeth, might argue that straight from the box is better.
Boerewors rolls are life! Going to the shops on a Saturday morning, straight after breakfast, one whiff of those boeries cooking, and I’m ravenous for them.
You’re South Africa in a nutshell! I love it!
And we drink mineral esp in Durbs
Dude. Cricket is found all over the world. It’s only countries in the west that don’t know about it. Also, mixed water outlets you can find everywhere in SA… and come on, you do not eat a rusk dry, you dip it in rooibos tea (and if you havn’t found the tea yet, find it!)
Dude. I’m writing from a western perspective. Cricket is confusing. And yes, you can find mixer taps here for sure. But there are also a ton that aren’t, and I had never seen them before I moved here! (Because like I said, they were invented about 150 years ago, yet somehow they are in several buildings here far younger than that).
Rusks…ok. I’m taking your word for it here. I seem to be the odd one out here by a looooong shot!
All I want to say is PAPSAK – the best guide to underaged drinking for any South African Teenager.
Might I just add, that nr 8 in SA, is what most of our working Farmers or wannabe a farmer guys dress like.
And rusks, if made properly with Grandma’s hand me down recipe is mind boggling with a proper cup of Joe(coffee).
And using the word Robot for a traffic light is great to use, because it makes sense in so many languages.
That is something else that our country is filled with, interesting and colorful languages.
My saffa friend here in the UK often offers me a grampa when I have a head ache! Love it! She often says: “I have a grampa in my bag if you want!”
Haha!
Leaves our English friends totally stumped! 😅😂😅
This is spot on!! Made me laugh.
Thanks! I laugh with South Africans every day- the least I can do is return the favour.
What about Vannermerwe jokes? Here is the only Canadian one I know: Van goes to Canada on holiday. When he steps off the plane he sees a huge sign saying “Drink Canada Dry”, so he pops off into the nearest bar and starts drinking. When he gets home after the holiday Fourie asks him how did he find Canada, to which he replies about the sign, and that he drank for two weeks straight and when he left the place was still far from “dry”.
Haha! Love it!
Doppie!! I am a South African citizen. The most beautiful country in the world. With rich coal and diamonds. We truely loved our country. Things went wrong sometimes in our country.. ..
But if you were born in South Africa you will Appreciate our country. Best in the world. A dream !!
Now I am a Canadian.
Sorry for the author who wrote this. You were here for 3 years and had weird experiences.
This was the time everything went wrong.
You did not experienced the TRUE South Africa.
The most beautiful country in the world.
Proud to a born South African.!!!
Isit only my crowd here in JBay that gooi a braai, and everyone leaves pissed with their Braai meat in containers? Cos everyone drank, braai’d too late and didn’t eat. The story of my life 😂
Hahahaha! I think you nailed EXACTLY the point of a braai!
Hahahaha, I’ve given up on making salads. I think we need to get more wood tho!
I think we need to have a lekker piss up at some point. Sounds like we’re on the same page.
Toats! Would be kiff eksw6, lol
I don’t know whether to be proud or sad that I understood that…
Be proud! Specially if you realised that weird word was meant to be eksê 😂😂😂 I got new glasses today, working lekka hey?
when I first came to oz found xxxx was a beer do you guys still have those xxxx mints? By the by jist love this blog and all the comments
The smell of the veld . Letting Africa flow through your body whilst walking silently under blue skies …….
I’ve lived in the US for the better part of a decade now. I still braai a lot and there is one thing American folk can’t resist. The South African braai-broodjie. Every braai we have I have to make 2 loaves of braai-broodjies and usually they’re all gone by the time I go to get one. I’ve started hiding some for myself. So I would say that’s definitely another thing to add to the list.
Definitely agree! One of my favourites!
Have you Googled the story about bunny chows? Its pretty good.
Great article, as Saffa’s, we had a good chuckle. Keep up the great work
I have another item – monkey gland sauce. I once served this to a Canadian friend who visited and told her its made from (well obviously) monkey glands. When in fact it was just good old Mrs Balls with some other bits and pieces added to it. She was a little creeped out until she tasted it. No monkeys and no glands. Just like no bunnies in bunny chow.
Haha- yes! I definitely passed on monkey gland sauce the first several hundred times it was offered to me!
Nobody and I mean NOBODY works in Cape Town After 1pm on a Friday. If you want to get something done on a Friday after 1pm it’s literally impossible. Also, the “now”, “now now” and, “just now” has to do with context. If someone is for instance is at work and they say to you they will meet you “just now” for drinks. You should be able to use context that they are at work they will join you after work. But if they tell you they will join you now now, you should be able to know they are basically walking out of the office and they will be with you shortly. To put that all in time lines. If someone says now now usually that would mean within the next 5min usually. Just now means in a while, so anything from 15min upwards (that’s where context comes from)
What a wonderful country this is! This is my 50th year in South Africa and it’s true – you fall in love. When you’re away from SA for more than a couple of weeks, you just want to see the wide open spaces, the wide smiles and the beauty of it all again. It’s hard seeing your pals leave, but there are always new pals coming along and the sun shines and spring is amazing and life is pretty good. Thank you for this splendid page, reminding us how lucky we are!
I love comments like yours- we really are fortunate to be here!
Love your article.. I am a South African. Rusks and biltong (as far as I know) originate from the Anglo Boer war.. Bread went stale and meat would rot. So they would dry it out to keep it edible. Hence: Rusks and biltong. And I think it’s one of the reasons we love them because they were created out of a time of hardship.
Biltong was used by Portuguese + Dutch sailors in the 1600’s to keep food edible on long sea voyages!
Some people can be such a doos
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Love this 😀 your writing is hilarious, but your understanding of our culture is brilliant.
P.S down in Cape Town, the cooler of brandy & coke changes to beers and whichever spirit is currently in fashion (currently craft Gin)
Kostelik (precious)! Love your sense of humour and keen observation. Keep on writing.
No. 22 is so flipping true! Our contractor recently asked us how many outlets he should put into the room and hubby and I looked at each other… Oh why didn’t we think of that before?!
Haha! It’s a minor thing for sure, but it drives me bananas!
Haha! Man, I miss SA! And FYI – Boerewors rolls with sheba and Ouma’s are lekker lekker 🙂 But you gotta dip the Oumas in some coffee. And it’s great for teething babies!
My husband is American, and he never gets over the ‘boere’ with their short pants. I’ve never really thought twice about it until he mentioned it as being odd.
Loved your article. Keep writing.
A number of years ago I was in Fort lauderdale and I went to a MacDonald’s for a hambuer and coke. When I ordered it I as the lady at the till for a straw. She looked very puzzled and asked me what I wanted a straw for. I replied to drink my coke. She looked even more puzzled. Then a South African voice told her ‘He means a sipper’. She probably thought I wanted a piece of straw.
Barefoot ranger right here! I remember being a teenager walking barefoot at the mall… Summer holidays going barefoot in margate… Despite my mother warning me that no shoes would give me manly feet… Thankfully it didn’t lol. Ahh good old days
Hey Phil, can’t believe you missed this one. We had so many laughs about it. Donkey …
So honestly, as a South African of her entire life, it was fun to see all of these in someone else’s point of view. (I was so used to these, I thought they were normal) en Om eerlik the wees, ja I guess ons in noggal weird lol 🤣