Last year, I wrote a post called 24 Weird Things About South Africa. It exploded, with the original post going viral, and then subsequent reposts of it on other pages also going viral. There were, of course, several people who got really defensive and said the post, me, and everything I’ve ever done in my life are all complete and total rubbish (as if I didn’t already KNOW that!). But the vast majority of South Africans love to laugh at […]
Getting a Learner’s Licence in South Africa, or How to Give up on Life
So, a lot has happened since my last post. One minute, we were on the trip of a lifetime in Namibia, and then….BOOM! Australia burned down, Iran and the US got into some kind of tiff, well known rapist/basketball player Kobe Bryant died in a horrific helicopter crash, a bunch of uptight weirdos got all butt-hurt over Shakira and J. Lo’s butts at Super Bowl LIV, Kim Jong-Un died, but not really because he came back to life and cut […]
I Survived A Namibian Road Trip, And I Barely Even Cried Every Day
Believe it or not, I have friends. Like, a LOT. I don’t mean to brag or anything, but it’s more than Oscar Pistorius can count on all his toes. In fact, I recently wrote about going to the movies with some of them in an effort to prove that people actually choose to spend time with me (there will be an update to that post soon- Nu Metro has reached out to me and wants me to give them another […]
A Night at the Movies- South Africa Style
I grew up in Canada. And because I grew up in Canada, I never quite realised quite how boring my life was. For example, if I wanted to buy something, I’d buy it. I wouldn’t find myself immersed in a hilarious maze of customer disservice. And if I wanted to go to a movie, I’d just go to a movie and you know, watch it. Because a movie theatre has one job: to play movies, and it’s very difficult to […]
Tips For Driving in South Africa
When I first arrived in South Africa in September 2016, it became rapidly apparent that I wasn’t in Vancouver, Canada anymore. There were full grown men running around in two-toned shirts and unintentionally hilarious hot pants, twonk-turkeys scaring the bejoobers out of me with their unholy yelling, and boerewors EVERYWHERE. Oh, and the most frightening drivers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. When people say “South Africa isn’t for sissies,” I’m pretty sure they specifically mean the roadways. It […]
Dashcams, Corruption, and Theft
Do you guys remember when a traffic official tried to get bribe out of me? I do. And I also wrote all about it here. To make a long story short, I got tired of being asked for bribes, bought a dashcam, and then was asked for another bribe. That kind of thing is, unfortunately, quite normal in South Africa. Since then, a kind lawyer and his firm have taken the case and have been continually escalating a formal complaint, […]
15 Things South Africans Want Foreigners To Know About Their Country
I’ve lived in South Africa for long enough to know that tourists have some pretty hilarious misconceptions when it comes to this country. While South Africa is certainly unique, there are a few things South Africans want foreigners to know about their country: 1) We don’t live in safari tents or grass huts. And we even have luxuries like toilets and electricity (at least when Eskom has their crap together). 2) You’re not allowed to make fun of rugby, or […]
Happy Island is South Africa’s Okayist Water Park
It was Heritage Day here in South Africa, during which the many cultures showcase and celebrate their rich and diverse heritage. Or they just have a lekker braai and get super blootered, which I guess is about as South African as it gets. I’m not here to judge. But it’s also a day off work, so we decided we wanted to have some quality family time. We thought going to a water park would be awesome, but we were a […]
24 Weird Things About South Africa
I’ve lived in South Africa for three years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that while I love it here, I’ll never fully understand this place. Without further ado, here are 24 weird things about South Africa. 1. Bunny chows. There are no bunnies involved. Like, at all. 2. The ubiquitous “car guards.” You’re expected to pay them a tip for their uncanny ability to stand DIRECTLY in your blind spot, waving you right into the car […]
In Defense of South Africa
Dear South Africans- many of you have had enough with the crime, corruption, and lack of opportunities you face every day. Nobody can fault you for wanting to leave. I’ve had several friends already pull the trigger, several more who are in the middle of planning their escape, and several who desperately want to leave, but can’t. Expat forums are full of Saffas who have fled the country and will never look back because they’ve built brilliant lives for themselves […]