You Wanted A Urinal Story- You Got It!

The Time I Got Peed On At A Urinal

OK, let’s be honest, nobody has ever asked for a urinal story. That’s just insane. The title is mostly to warn people what’s coming so they don’t click the link. But YOU clicked, you giant weirdo, so let’s do this. I’ve been knocked out with the flu for the last several days, so I’ve been slacking off on pretty much everything but binge watching American Vandal (which is truly, truly hilarious) and hurling my guts into the toilet over and […]

8 Colossal Benefits of Expat Life

8 Benefits of Expat Life

Last week I posted about 8 Ways Expat Life Sucks Worse Than Puppy Cancer, and I meant every word. But I also said I wouldn’t trade my expat experience for the world, and I meant that, too. So for the sake of balance, I thought I’d post about the benefits of expat life, cause there are many. 1)  You’ll Get To See The World This one’s super obvious, but it still needs to be said. If you want to travel, but […]

8 Ways Expat Life Sucks Worse Than Puppy Cancer

Expat Struggles

Exactly one year ago today, we were waiting in the Vancouver airport for our flight to South Africa. Everything we owned was already stuffed into a container and floating across the ocean to meet us at a later date. We were exhausted, excited, and nervous. We had said all our goodbyes to friends and family and were about to embark on our new journey. Expat struggles were something we didn’t even think about. Fast forward one year later, and we pretty […]

Review- Deep Sea Fishing With Umhlanga Ocean Charters

I’ve always said that South Africa is the most amazing place in the world to live. And the only thing better than living in South Africa is being on vacation in South Africa, which I was fortunate enough to be doing with my family for the last week. I’ll be posting about some of the things we did, but a highlight for sure was to fulfil a lifelong dream of mine and go fishing off the coast of Durban. It […]

30 Ways You Know You’re Almost A Local In South Africa

I moved to South Africa from Canada in September 2016. When I first got here, everything was strange, confusing, and wonderful. Now that I’ve been here almost a year, well, nothing has changed. But I think I’ve been adapting. One of my favourite bloggers, Joburg Expat, compiled of list of signs that indicate you’re no longer new to South Africa here. It’s a great post, and I thought I’d add some more ways you can tell you’re ALMOST a local: […]

Hey Vodacom, PLEASE Stop Dropping My Calls!

You know what I love about cell phones? You can use them to talk to other people. That’s kind of the whole point. OK, I know they’re also for surfing the web, navigating, and surprising women with pictures of your naughty bits (guys, here’s a helpful tip – no woman has EVER thought “Today’s been a good day. But you know what I could really go for right now? An unsolicited picture of Johnny’s wonder weasel”). But the MAIN reason […]

I’ve Put a Lot of Disgusting Things in My Mouth…

Food Fail

The Background Whenever somebody starts a sentence with “I bet you won’t eat…” I don’t even hear the rest. The cacophonous ringing of cash registers in my ears drowns out whatever comes next. I’ve hate-fornicated my mouth hole with a jug of vinegar, an entire mug of hot sauce, a dried out crab shell my friend Fariyal found on the beach (related-Fariyal is a giant jerk), and the list goes on and on. You know those giant banana slugs they […]

Canada vs South Africa (In a Handy 11-Point list)

I’m sorry if the title brought you here in hopes I’d be talking about who would win in a fist fight between Canada and South Africa. That would be ridiculous because there couldn’t be any possible way of knowing (but for the record, it would totally be Canada. We’re able to harness the power of poutine). When I say Canada vs South Africa, what I MEAN to say is I’m going to look at the differences I’ve noticed between the two […]

The World’s Most Grueling Competition

I’m not necessarily saying I’m competitive or anything, but I like to win. If you beat me at Monopoly, I’ll train bees to attack you. I like boxing with my 7-year-old son because I can beat him at LEAST 78% of the time. He’s a pansy (at least for now). I always finished exams first when I was in school, whether I knew the answers or not. Being first was more important than performing well. Same with sex. I ALWAYS […]

Why You Should Become an Expat (And Why You Shouldn’t), Part 2

Last week, I started to explain why you should (or shouldn’t) consider taking an expat contract. But, like always, I broke the rules of blogging by not keeping it short and sweet, so I only got through three points. Here are some more thoughts to consider before becoming an expat: 4) You Can Totally Show How Valuable You Are To Your Company Your bosses wouldn’t have asked you to relocate if they didn’t think you had great value- or potential value- […]