When I first arrived in South Africa in September 2016, it became rapidly apparent that I wasn’t in Vancouver, Canada anymore. There were full grown men running around in two-toned shirts and unintentionally hilarious hot pants, twonk-turkeys scaring the bejoobers out of me with their unholy yelling, and boerewors EVERYWHERE. Oh, and the most frightening drivers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. When people say “South Africa isn’t for sissies,” I’m pretty sure they specifically mean the roadways. It […]
How To Fit In as a Local
24 Weird Things About South Africa
I’ve lived in South Africa for three years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that while I love it here, I’ll never fully understand this place. Without further ado, here are 24 weird things about South Africa. 1. Bunny chows. There are no bunnies involved. Like, at all. 2. The ubiquitous “car guards.” You’re expected to pay them a tip for their uncanny ability to stand DIRECTLY in your blind spot, waving you right into the car […]
31 Things That Happen When You Move To South Africa
I woke up the other day and realised we moved to South Africa just over two years ago. Two. Years. In dog years, I’ve been in South Africa longer than the Spice Girls were a band. It’s been all kinds of crazy and all kinds of wonderful (but mostly all kinds of crazy). In what other place in the world could wild elephants, shark-filled oceans, Julius Malema, massive braais, and neverending jols exist? Some of those are great, while others are […]
How To Braai Like a Champ in South Africa
I’m usually proud to be a Canadian. We ride polar bears to work, introduced the world to classy cuisine like poutine, eat cereal with maple syrup instead of milk (which you can buy in a bag, just the way God intended), drink reindeer flavoured slurpies, and play hockey, not soccer. Everything I just mentioned is totally true. Don’t look it up. But after living in South Africa for almost 22 months, I’ve discovered that we have one major shortcoming: the […]