I while ago I promised you my next ten posts would highlight only things I love about South Africa. Because I lie only when I tell my kids where babies come from and when my wife asks if I’ve been eating healthy, I’ve managed to pump out three so far. Here’s the 4th thing I love about South Africa: Pilanesberg National Park. When I think about South Africa, the first thing I think about is rampant corruption at almost every […]
South Africa
How To Braai Like a Champ in South Africa
I’m usually proud to be a Canadian. We ride polar bears to work, introduced the world to classy cuisine like poutine, eat cereal with maple syrup instead of milk (which you can buy in a bag, just the way God intended), drink reindeer flavoured slurpies, and play hockey, not soccer. Everything I just mentioned is totally true. Don’t look it up. But after living in South Africa for almost 22 months, I’ve discovered that we have one major shortcoming: the […]
Things I Love About South Africa, Post 2- Things That Happen Only in SA
A while ago I made a commitment that the next ten posts would focus only on the things I love about South Africa. In the meantime, I’ve had several entertaining experiences I could write about, but they wouldn’t fit my current theme, so they’ll have to wait (and there are a couple of doozies, trust me!). One of the things about South Africa that I still can’t get used to is their specific style of customer service. And by that […]
Animal Interactions in South Africa
One of the most mind-blowing things about South Africa is its wildlife. Have you ever watched the National Geographic channel on TV? It’s like that, but with the added thrill of getting malaria (for real- if you go to Kruger Park, take malaria medication). There are kabillions (rough estimate- I’m not so good with numbers) of different animal species to see, but the Big 5 captivate most visitors. For those of you not familiar with the term, the Big 5 […]
You Wanted A Urinal Story- You Got It!
OK, let’s be honest, nobody has ever asked for a urinal story. That’s just insane. The title is mostly to warn people what’s coming so they don’t click the link. But YOU clicked, you giant weirdo, so let’s do this. I’ve been knocked out with the flu for the last several days, so I’ve been slacking off on pretty much everything but binge watching American Vandal (which is truly, truly hilarious) and hurling my guts into the toilet over and […]
Hey Vodacom, PLEASE Stop Dropping My Calls!
You know what I love about cell phones? You can use them to talk to other people. That’s kind of the whole point. OK, I know they’re also for surfing the web, navigating, and surprising women with pictures of your naughty bits (guys, here’s a helpful tip – no woman has EVER thought “Today’s been a good day. But you know what I could really go for right now? An unsolicited picture of Johnny’s wonder weasel”). But the MAIN reason […]
The World’s Most Grueling Competition
I’m not necessarily saying I’m competitive or anything, but I like to win. If you beat me at Monopoly, I’ll train bees to attack you. I like boxing with my 7-year-old son because I can beat him at LEAST 78% of the time. He’s a pansy (at least for now). I always finished exams first when I was in school, whether I knew the answers or not. Being first was more important than performing well. Same with sex. I ALWAYS […]
Why You Should Become an Expat (And Why You Shouldn’t), Part 2
Last week, I started to explain why you should (or shouldn’t) consider taking an expat contract. But, like always, I broke the rules of blogging by not keeping it short and sweet, so I only got through three points. Here are some more thoughts to consider before becoming an expat: 4) You Can Totally Show How Valuable You Are To Your Company Your bosses wouldn’t have asked you to relocate if they didn’t think you had great value- or potential value- […]
The Person Who Does That…
I’m going to throw a quite common scenario at you. You’re at your office in North America, and you’re about to go on your yearly vacation to see all the severed whale wieners you can imagine. You set your “out of office” notification on your email, informing anybody who may try to contact you that you’ll be away, but there’s an alternate person who can help them out. Same with your voicemail. Now, your customers can still get what they […]
Things I Love About South Africa (Part 1 of Many)
All right, South Africa. I’ve ripped on you pretty heavily in a few previous posts. But I mean, come on- you can’t possibly expect to wear tight short shorts as a guy and NOT have people make fun of you. Anyway, I didn’t move here because South Africa sucks. It doesn’t. This country is one of the most amazing places on earth, and I fell in love with it when I visited years and years ago. I was going to write […]