Things I Love About South Africa, Post 4- Pilanesberg National Park

I while ago I promised you my next ten posts would highlight only things I love about South Africa. Because I lie only when I tell my kids where babies come from and when my wife asks if I’ve been eating healthy, I’ve managed to pump out three so far. Here’s the 4th thing I love about South Africa: Pilanesberg National Park.

When I think about South Africa, the first thing I think about is rampant corruption at almost every level of public services and business. But AFTER that, the next thing I think about is the wildlife. Although many people are super disappointed to hear there aren’t lions, tigers, and elephants roaming through the streets where I live (Seriously. I get asked that a lot. 1) most of the wildlife is found only on reserves and parks, 2) Have a word with yourself, rest of the world. There are no wild tigers in South Africa, nor has there ever been), it IS relatively easy to go see these incredible animals. I’ve written about the jewel of South Africa, Kruger National Park, here and here. But going to Kruger takes some effort- you need a few days to do it right, and while it’s not really expensive (at least if you stay in the main camps- you can spend enough money to choke a Kardashian if you choose to stay in one of the luxury camps), it’s not necessarily within everyone’s budget.

So if Kruger isn’t in the cards, but you still really want to see an elephant dong, what do you?

Like, other than look at this picture, I mean.

If you live in Pretoria like I do, you go for a day trip to Pilanesberg National Park. Many people think that you need to stay at least a couple of nights in one of the expensive lodges in the park or at nearby Sun City to be able to experience Pilanesberg properly, but I can promise you don’t need to spend a ton of cash to have a mind-blowing wildlife viewing adventure.

I can be through the gates and into the park less than 2 hours after I leave my house. We’ve gone several times, and we’ve always come back the same day. You can either pack a lunch and use one of the many picnic sites scattered throughout the park (which include braai stands if you’re so inclined), or you can eat outdoors at the simple, but good restaurant that allows you to watch the zebra, warthogs, elephants, and all kinds of antelope that frequent the waterhole on the other side of the fence.

Lest you think Pilanesberg is a glorified zoo, know that it’s actually honkin’ big. It took us several visits before we were able to explore all the roads (both tar and gravel) that crisscross the reserve. The only fences you see are on the very edges of the park, and you’ll be encountering actual wild animals. Which means you should act accordingly by giving them their space and not getting out of your vehicle except at designated areas.

If my words don’t convince you to stay in your car, maybe this picture will.

Pilanesberg is home to all the Big 5 (rhino, elephant, lion, leopard, and cape buffalo), and the only one we haven’t seen is buffalo. But they’re over-rated anyway. They’re not particularly interesting to watch, and if you can visualise a grumpy cow, you’ve pretty much got the idea.

This isn’t a buffalo

We see rhinos every time we visit the park though, and elephants are EVERYWHERE.

Heads up- if you’re a man and suffer from an inferiority complex, DON’T go to Pilanesberg.

You’ll also see one or two of these:

Like so…

Or a whole boatload of them:

Like so.

If you’re into birds, there are a ton of them in Pilanesberg. But, I mean, who’s into birds? Weirdos. That’s who.

Stupid bird.

I guess what I’m saying here is that if you want a quick, easily accessible excursion within striking distance from Pretoria, Johannesburg, Rustenburg, and surrounding areas, I’d highly recommend Pilanesberg. I’ve also been to Dinokeng, but to honest, it was a bit of a bust. The roads aren’t well thought out, the game is sparse, and it just wasn’t a great experience.

Admission to Pilanesberg costs R260 (about $25 CAN) for my whole family, and the park has never let us down. I’ve definitely spent way more money on much stupider things (though in my defence, that flamethrower looked SUPER dope at 3am).

At this point I should probably post a family-friendly picture of an elephant.

There. Don’t say I never do anything nice for you.

What I’m saying here is there is game everywhere in Pilanesberg.

Like this kudu cow

And just like in the human world, the males are like, 10X more impressive than the females.

See?

It’s times like this I’m glad my wife doesn’t read my blog.

Anyway, we’ve also seen some really cool things, like rhinos fighting (it was much more impressive than the slap fight I got into in grade 7), and then the aftermath of a rhino fight:

To be fair, my opponent in the grade 7 slap fight came off much worse than this.

There really is something for everyone in Pilanesberg.

You want poop? Pilanesberg’s got poop.

As strange as it may sound, dung beetles are actually fascinating. Not only do they play a crucial part in nature’s clean up crew, but they’re usually found in pairs. If you watch closely, you’ll notice that only one does all the work- that’s the male. The female is just along for the ride and rolls with the poop ball. As sad as it is, I’ve been on dates worse than this. So you do your thing, dung beetles.

As far as other animals go, I once tried to count all the blue wildebeest I saw, but I lost track after about 37 million.

You eventually get really sick of seeing these guys.

You don’t need a truck (or bakkie as they call them here) to get around in the park either- you’ll be fine with a car. You don’t have to take any gravel roads to see amazing sights- some of our best viewings have been right off the main paved roads.

It’s hard to believe this gem is so close to home. I always recommend Kruger Park to people looking for a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but if you’re short on money and/or time, Pilanesberg is a pretty good runner-up.

This guy totally agrees.

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