I grew up in Canada. And because I grew up in Canada, I never quite realised quite how boring my life was. For example, if I wanted to buy something, I’d buy it. I wouldn’t find myself immersed in a hilarious maze of customer disservice. And if I wanted to go to a movie, I’d just go to a movie and you know, watch it. Because a movie theatre has one job: to play movies, and it’s very difficult to […]
Culture Shock
24 Weird Things About South Africa
I’ve lived in South Africa for three years now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that while I love it here, I’ll never fully understand this place. Without further ado, here are 24 weird things about South Africa. 1. Bunny chows. There are no bunnies involved. Like, at all. 2. The ubiquitous “car guards.” You’re expected to pay them a tip for their uncanny ability to stand DIRECTLY in your blind spot, waving you right into the car […]
Car Rental Fun in South Africa
*Edit- I originally didn’t name Thrifty Car Hire when I posted this because I thought it was a once off bad experience. But I had another terrible experience with them (which I’ll be writing about shortly), so screw it. Turns out they have an ongoing pattern of hilariously bad service. It was Thrifty. Whatever other bad decisions you make in your life, don’t use Thrifty Car Hire in South Africa. You’re welcome for saving you a boatload of heartache. Have […]
Hillbrow Isn’t For Sissies (Except For Me And All The Other Chickens Out There)
South Africa isn’t known for being, well, tame. All kinds of insanity (most of it entertaining, some of it simply terrifying) crashes into coddled North Americans like me on a daily basis. But even after two and a half years here, I’ve never felt like I’m in real danger. This is mostly because I take precautions like not counting the stacks and stacks of money I make from this blog out in public, not wearing my meat suit as I […]
31 Things That Happen When You Move To South Africa
I woke up the other day and realised we moved to South Africa just over two years ago. Two. Years. In dog years, I’ve been in South Africa longer than the Spice Girls were a band. It’s been all kinds of crazy and all kinds of wonderful (but mostly all kinds of crazy). In what other place in the world could wild elephants, shark-filled oceans, Julius Malema, massive braais, and neverending jols exist? Some of those are great, while others are […]
What To Expect When You Move From South Africa To Canada
I usually blog about life here, but I’ve had roughly a kabillion Saffas contact me to ask what they can expect when they move from South Africa to Canada. I’m inherently very lazy by nature, so I’m writing this post simply so I don’t have to keep answering the same question over and over again. Oh, and if you think you’re going to get any VALUABLE advice here, you clearly haven’t been following my blog. Whatever. Here we go: The […]
If You Don’t Know How To Use A Public Bathroom, This Post Is For You!
Look, South Africa, we need to talk. You’re home to some of the best wildlife, okay-est food, most wonderful people, and most hilarious fashion choices. I love all of it. But as evidenced by the fact I recently wrote about being on peed on in a public washroom, your bathroom etiquette might need a little tweaking. And if you don’t believe me, just check out this sign I recently saw in a public loo: There’s just so much going on there. […]
8 Ways Expat Life Sucks Worse Than Puppy Cancer
Exactly one year ago today, we were waiting in the Vancouver airport for our flight to South Africa. Everything we owned was already stuffed into a container and floating across the ocean to meet us at a later date. We were exhausted, excited, and nervous. We had said all our goodbyes to friends and family and were about to embark on our new journey. Expat struggles were something we didn’t even think about. Fast forward one year later, and we pretty […]
30 Ways You Know You’re Almost A Local In South Africa
I moved to South Africa from Canada in September 2016. When I first got here, everything was strange, confusing, and wonderful. Now that I’ve been here almost a year, well, nothing has changed. But I think I’ve been adapting. One of my favourite bloggers, Joburg Expat, compiled of list of signs that indicate you’re no longer new to South Africa here. It’s a great post, and I thought I’d add some more ways you can tell you’re ALMOST a local: […]