So, a lot has happened since my last post. One minute, we were on the trip of a lifetime in Namibia, and then….BOOM! Australia burned down, Iran and the US got into some kind of tiff, well known rapist/basketball player Kobe Bryant died in a horrific helicopter crash, a bunch of uptight weirdos got all butt-hurt over Shakira and J. Lo’s butts at Super Bowl LIV, Kim Jong-Un died, but not really because he came back to life and cut […]
Customer Service
A Night at the Movies- South Africa Style
I grew up in Canada. And because I grew up in Canada, I never quite realised quite how boring my life was. For example, if I wanted to buy something, I’d buy it. I wouldn’t find myself immersed in a hilarious maze of customer disservice. And if I wanted to go to a movie, I’d just go to a movie and you know, watch it. Because a movie theatre has one job: to play movies, and it’s very difficult to […]
Car Rental Fun in South Africa
*Edit- I originally didn’t name Thrifty Car Hire when I posted this because I thought it was a once off bad experience. But I had another terrible experience with them (which I’ll be writing about shortly), so screw it. Turns out they have an ongoing pattern of hilariously bad service. It was Thrifty. Whatever other bad decisions you make in your life, don’t use Thrifty Car Hire in South Africa. You’re welcome for saving you a boatload of heartache. Have […]
Things I Love About South Africa, Post 2- Things That Happen Only in SA
A while ago I made a commitment that the next ten posts would focus only on the things I love about South Africa. In the meantime, I’ve had several entertaining experiences I could write about, but they wouldn’t fit my current theme, so they’ll have to wait (and there are a couple of doozies, trust me!). One of the things about South Africa that I still can’t get used to is their specific style of customer service. And by that […]
Fun With Credit Card Fraud and South African Banks
Credit card fraud is always a pain in the backside. But credit card fraud in SOUTH AFRICA really turns things up a few notches. Let me give you a bit of a spoiler alert: if it happens to you, you’re pretty much the female lion. Prologue- 4:15am It finally happened. While I’ve done my best to combat the bad reputation South Africa has when it comes to crime, I’m sorry to say I was hit recently. I should point out, however, […]
Character Building in South Africa- Registering as a Taxpayer
I’ve been on vacation in Canada for the last little while, which kind of spoiled me, I guess, cause I ALMOST forgot how to be mind-numbingly patient. And if you know anything about South Africa, you’ll know that it will bring anybody who holds things like efficiency dear to their knees. You can beg, plead, and make deals with God all you want, but you won’t be able to get things done as quickly as you think. And such was […]
Hey Vodacom, PLEASE Stop Dropping My Calls!
You know what I love about cell phones? You can use them to talk to other people. That’s kind of the whole point. OK, I know they’re also for surfing the web, navigating, and surprising women with pictures of your naughty bits (guys, here’s a helpful tip – no woman has EVER thought “Today’s been a good day. But you know what I could really go for right now? An unsolicited picture of Johnny’s wonder weasel”). But the MAIN reason […]
The Person Who Does That…
I’m going to throw a quite common scenario at you. You’re at your office in North America, and you’re about to go on your yearly vacation to see all the severed whale wieners you can imagine. You set your “out of office” notification on your email, informing anybody who may try to contact you that you’ll be away, but there’s an alternate person who can help them out. Same with your voicemail. Now, your customers can still get what they […]
South African Customer (dis)Service
Look, I don’t want to get a reputation for being negative towards life in South Africa because honestly, I dig it here. I love seeing the impossibly huge, blood-red sun rise every morning on my way to work, burning the dark into cinders. I adore the people here- if somebody isn’t going to kill or rob you, chances are very likely you’ll find yourself at their house for a braai. The weather is full of glorious sunshine that wraps itself around […]
Waiting For Telkom (AKA, South Africa’s National Pastime)
I’ll never complain about slow internet again. OK, I probably will, because most of it is horrifically slow here, and you don’t know how hard life can be until you’ve waited a good 5 seconds to load the perfect cat meme to send as a witty response to a friend’s text (or SMS as they call them here, because in the spirit of doing ALL things inefficiently in South Africa, they’ve decided to tack on an extra two syllables. Just […]